Friday Peace

I love Fridays. End of the week, start of the weekend. A day of fun for Josiah and myself whilst Joel is at school. 

After school gets a little more stressful. Tired boys make mischief and my patience starts to wear thinner. My Mary Poppins hat starts to slip and at 5.30 I’m ready for Hubby to walk through the door.

It’s swimming night for Joel! And the past weeks he’s taken Josiah along to give me a break. 

Before they’d even gone tonight I’d begun running a bath, adding a hefty dose of Champneys bubble heaven. The kettle was on for a cup of tea and there was a bit of Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar in the cupboard!

“Shall I take Josiah along”? He asks as though it’s an option not too! 

“Why wouldn’t you?” I enquired, “you have the past weeks and I really like the quiet hour to myself”. 

“Really?” He asks as though this is odd. But to him it probably is as he is someone who likes company. And don’t worry, I’m not a total hermit but this quiet 90 minutes all to myself at the end of a week is quite heavenly!  I know he won’t understand. Our work demands are so different. He is self employed and works alone a lot so desires company in his free time. I am attached to little people for most of a day, reducing my brain to engage with repetitive chatter, CBeebies, learning colours and reading the same books 145 times! He wouldn’t understand at all why this 90 minutes of nothing I can turn my brain off, jump in a bubble bath, slap on a face mask and just do nothing! No washing up, laundry, cleaning or anything.

Just for 90 minutes! And I’m grateful for it! 


Joel wanted to walk Josiah! He tends to run the opposite way at the moment and I can’t chase him being 39 weeks pregnant so reins it is!! 

   
Monkeys walking home!

One Year Later……

Time really has got away with me these past months and I have not even really thought about blogging at all.    What’s happened?  Here’s a little month by month catch up!  My last post talked about our holiday which was May so here’s the rest!!

June – work was getting worse, the moral was terrible and Steve and I agreed that with Joel starting school in September it was a good time to leave and be there for the school run and focus on Moo Music classes.  So I handed my resignation in!  Just like that!

July – I did it.  I walked away from the job I’d done for 14 years. I was sad to leave the people but the job was not what it used to be and I always think being unhappy at work just isn’t worth it.  So I also took Josiah out of nursery for the summer and we had a brilliant time.  I got a pass to local gardens, our local farm and National Trust so we went out most days with simple ham sandwiches, cakes, bottles of squash and fruit and went to parks and just enjoyed our summertime before Joel started school.

August – Steve was busy with work most of the summer and as we’d had a holiday in May we didn’t go away again but we kept busy each day and by the end of August I wished we could have had a week at a beach so looking ahead I booked a cottage in Cornwall for August 2016.  We invited Steve’s parents to join us and can take two dogs and it’s in Perranporth right on the beach.  And being March now it doesn’t seem too far away!!  Oh and the other big August news was I found I was expecting a baby!!  Cranston baby number three was on the way!!  What excellent timing!!

September – Joel had his first day at school and was a superstar.  He loves his teacher, his school and settled in really well.  I loved being able to collect him each day (although my parents continued with their Tuesday and he goes for tea after school that day and they have Josiah too!!)  Josiah went back to nursery two mornings a week on a Wednesday and Thursday as I had accrued a lot of credit from my childcare vouchers.  I also ran four Moo classes a week and enjoyed having time at home to sort things, clean and tidy and prepare meals.  Life suddenly felt happier and then the morning sickness started.  I began feeling extremely nauseous and a bump developed quite quickly!!

October – I can’t remember a great deal of October.  We settled into our new routine of school runs, nursery drop offs, midwife appointments, Moo classes and feeling sick!

November – We had a stress with the hospital screening department calling me to say I was a high risk for this baby having a chromosome disorder.  Due to my age (my due date is actually my 37th birthday) and the fact I had a very high register of HSG in my blood they called us in to tell us the risks.  We had always said we wouldn’t terminate a pregnancy on the basis of Downs Syndrome but there were other far worse conditions we’d never heard of and it was stressful.  We said no to the amnio test and instead opted for the private Harmony blood test.  I drove myself to Shrewsbury for it and they took two big vials of blood which was then posted to London to be screened.  I was screened for the four major chromosome conditions and turned down the extra little screen tests for the others available as I felt I didn’t want to know too much.  Within a week they called me to say it was all fine, and we were expecting a girl!  I nearly fell of my chair as I was so sure it would be a third boy.

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December – We had a lovely Christmas.  We were able to announce our pregnancy and told our families we were having a girl.  They were as amazed as me!  We had Christmas day at my parents and then visited Steve’s parents on Boxing Day for two nights.  Then on the 30th we went to Centreparcs for a week away over New Year which was just lovely.  Steve had booked it as a surprise.  He’d been so busy the past few months and he wanted us to have some family time and we made the most of it.  We swam every day, enjoyed a few meals out and Joel got to try archery which he loved.  The weather wasn’t great but that didn’t stop us!

January – I was beginning to feel tired and the strain from this pregnancy so dropped down to three Moo classes a week.  I began to feel a bit frustrated that I wasn’t able to do what I’d intended with my business due to being pregnant as I couldn’t take on extra work I couldn’t commit to.  But then I realised we wanted this third baby and the joy of having a business like Moo is that it will fit around my family first.  I am looking forward to next year and seeing what I can achieve with it.  We had a good 20 week scan with everything looking good, and we met a consultant who has recommended a third section, and that I be sterilised during it.  This is our last baby but it’s still a bit decision and there’s a lot of negativity online about the op.

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February – Josiah left his nursery having used up the credit there.  We can’t really afford for him to attend a private nursery anymore so instead we’ve signed him up for a playgroup which is cheaper and we are currently getting him settled into a couple of hours two mornings a week to keep him used to going and playing with others away from me as he can get clingy and prefer to be at home or Grandma’s house.  Joel continues to enjoy school and at half term he was the ‘Star of the Week’ and he was so proud.  They go up on the stage in assembly and receive a shiny pencil and certificate from the headmaster.  After half term he then got on the ‘Pot of Gold’ which is fab, and the next day he was ‘Worker of the Day’ so he managed to get all the class accolades in one go!    Plus not to mention Josiah turned 2 and he had a little party!  Definitely time for another baby then!! =D

And that is a summary of things the past year.  We are muddling along and making the best of each day and I’m very proud of what we’ve achieved. These are two wonderful boys who play nicely and love each other and we can’t wait to meet our little girl in two months!

Then it was nearly June….

This is a very quick recap of life as it is rushing by as ever…

Work is pants.  I am in complete limbo, with my voluntary redundancy rejected and we are all being made officially redundant from the 30th August and having to apply for a new job here.  I was hoping to apply for two days but now the rumours are that everything is behind and we are just waiting to hear what will happen.

Moo Music is going well.  I am enjoying it and getting interest from Pre-schools and playgroups to run regular sessions with them and if that builds up then I may just have to leave the University.  I’ve said I’m available from September and that will be my priority although it’ll be hard to leave a well paid admin job.  I’m ready for a change though.  And it’s such fun!

My boys are growing up gorgeously.  Every morning Joel comes in about ten past seven (when his grow clock sun comes out) and climbs into bed with us and when we hear the ‘ma ba da’ from the other room I collect Josiah and we have cuddles.  I love those moments.  They won’t last forever.

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Joel is off to school in September.  we got a place at our local primary school and the dramas and grievances from others who haven’t are just awful.  I feel to awkward to say he got a place.  I know it’s a big deal and if we hadn’t I would be appealing too but I wouldn’t be shouting at people who did get places.  That’s just wrong.

We’ve had a lovely holiday in Rhodes and coming back to the chilly UK has made us want to book for next year already!!  The flights were a bit too long for them though.  4 hours was too much so I would say 1-2 hours next time.  That or a caravan in Wales which is actually my preference!!  I love Wales and the beaches are lovely.

I have turned 36 and to celebrate I got my ears pierced a second time!  I know, what a rebel!!  It’s something I’ve wanted for a while and after opening the boys a bank account each (which was very sensible) I went and did something a bit crazy.  I like it though.  I think it looks pretty!

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So that’s a brief bit about where we are!  Oh, and still working on the house and trying to make plans for the kitchen but these things take time and a lot of money.  The garden is looking fab this year, and we now have a piano as Steve  bought me a Yamaha Clavinova for my birthday!  It was a brilliant present and sounds beautiful.  I love playing on it 🙂

Mr Know It All

Suddenly Joel seems to think that he knows it all.  And if it turns out that he doesn’t he gets a bit cross.  I’m not sure where it’s come from!  It’s worse when he’s tired.  And even worse again when I’m tired.

Steve has been away today and won’t be back till late tomorrow night.  And I think Joel felt weakness.  I didn’t sleep well last night, I was feeling anxious about my Moo Doo (which went well in the end!!) but man, I was weary this afternoon.

Joel played up and was just generally difficult all afternoon.  Maybe it’s because I was tired and not making enough effort to be patient, but somedays i just have less patience than others.  i’d planned a busy event which he and Josiah went to, then as Joss napped after lunch joel and I sat and watched Brave on DVD.

Then we had to go to Asda for shopping and Joel decided he did not want to sit in the trolley.  I knew he would be running off around the shelves and asking for everything so I put him in the trolley saying it was that or wait in the car, (obviously I did not want to leave him in the car, and I don’t think I’d have followed that through?!) but he then proceeded to scream and yell for the first few aisles.  I ignored him as he after a response, and I was feeling very fed up with his behaviour this afternoon.

Then we picked up a couple of hats for our holiday next month, (two matching Jake and pirates ones) and Joel just started being naughty again.  He just starts ignoring me and what I say.  So he pulled his wellies off (which he was wearing by choice) and started chewing on them.  i asked him to put it down, they are very muddy wellies and he continued.  I gave him two warnings that I would put his hat back if he wasn’t good and he carried on, so I put his hat on a random shelf and off he went.  Major tantrum and yelling, smacking me and what’s worse is that josiah started copying him.

I do not want either child thinking that they can get away with this, and I was feeling upset that Joel think’s he can do this.  maybe I expect too much of him, and I know he doesn’t like Steve being away but he kept saying ‘please don’t tell daddy’, so he knows it’s wrong but chooses to act up anyway.

The other daft bit is that I’m sure I was like that at his age too.  I ran my mum ragged so maybe I should just take a deep breath and remember that he’s only three, (for another 6 days at least!)

When he’s good, he’s absolutely great!  i tried a hat on and he said that it looked ‘lovely mummy’!   He comes out with some fabulous comments and statements.  I hope it’s just a being tired and grumpy thing rather than a sign of things to come.  It just adds a whole new level to the challenge of parenting!

Josiah is also growing up even more!  He’s suddenly a complete climber and I blink and he’s on the arm of the sofa!  He loves waybaloo and we have some cuddly piplings that joel had, and he loves playing with them.  Still not walking, but pulling up and standing a lot more now.

He’s a lot more bossy now than Joel was, (although he seems to be more bossy these days), and he shouts where he wants to go, what he wants, and for any reason really!  He wants to feed himself all the time and if you offer a spoon he has a mini tantrum.  But he is so loving, and cuddly.  He’s going through a clingy phase where he only wants me, and if Steve takes him downstairs, or i leave him with Steve for a shower he will scream and scream!  I guess I could be flattered, but it is a little wearing as well.

I feel bad that i’m criticising them, as they are good more often than not, and I’m not sure if what I determine as good is too high a standard?!  How can you decide a standard?

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Hello Old Friend….

What a long blog break I’ve had!   Life is just getting in the way, and any chance I get to sit down I tend to think TV or book at the moment as I have very little brain for much else.

Work is a bit rubbish.  We have now all been informed that our jobs are redundant as of 30th August this year.  So I applied for managed severence to be told ‘no – you have to stay’!!  After over three months of waiting to hear.  I feel as thought I have a new plan now, with my Moo Music business, and I would relish the opportunity to really give that a good go as I am getting four established sessions running, with returning mums and children which is so great!!

It’s hard to walk away from a decent job with a good wage and excellent holiday entitlement, but I now feel that I must have disadvantaged myself as who is going to want to hire me now anyway?!!  I really don’t know what to do for the best.  I can always apply again to leave, but having been turned down once I’m not sure if it’s worth it.  It’s just galling having to leave without anything when redundancy has been offered but maybe that’s greedy of me.  It would just help with childcare for a few months whilst I got Moo underway properly.

I’m very glad I have two wonderful boys at home.  I really do love them so much.  They are happy boys and get on really well.  Josiah is now one, and still not walking!  he much prefers to sit, be carried or just point and shout for things to be brought to him.  Joel didn’t walk until 15 months so he’s got one month left if he’s going to catch up.  He seems to be very vocal, and has ‘mama’, ‘dada’, brabra’ and gra gra down!!  We always know exactly what he wants!

Joel is getting on really well at pre-school  and bringing home regular awards for ‘helpful tidying’, ‘recognising letters from the alphabet’, ‘being fab at storytime’ and others!  His confidence has gone up loads and we’ve already had a visit to the reception class which he loved and he can’t wait to go up in September.

The house is still much the same.  We’ve papered the hall, stairs and landing, but not quite got around to painting it yet.  We are still wondering about extensions and sorting the kitchen.

So it’s a brief recap really, but life is just so very busy with so many pressures at the moment!

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Sabotage

I had three hours sleep last night with Joel up from midnight and not wanting to sleep in his bed and coughing (he always seems to start coughing heavily when it rains, I guess the cold and damp are not good for his chest.  Then Josiah was up at 11pm, some other unearthly hour which I’m not sure of as I was in the spare room at that point and shouting to get up at 7am.

It’s lovely how awake and cheery they can be at 7 after a bad night isn’t it.

I have forgotten how it feels to be awake and cheery.

And tonight I’m meant to be going out for a curry with friends from church.  I think they both knew.  I’ll be asleep in my poppadoms by 7.30 at this rate 😦

Life Rushes On…..

And here we are in October already.  It’s crazy.  I don’t know where the time is going to.  School run doesn’t help.  It’s rush here, have a very short time to do something, then rush back and think of ways to entertain two boys for an afternoon.  It needs to be out and about else Joel wants to watch TV (Jake and the Neverland Pirates is his new thing :/) and fresh air is good with space for running!!  This local common is a great place to let of steam!!

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This morning two mums with boys in Joel’s class invited me to Costa for a drink and a chat!  Me!  I was that flummoxed I sort of said I’d love to, but then said I had a lot to sort out at home this morning.  Which was true, but I would much rather be sipping a hot chocolate and talking than sorting out wet bedding (Joel wet the bed this morning in a dozy state where he didn’t realise he wasn’t on the toilet I think!) plus my mother in law is visiting tomorrow so I need to get the house back to the clean and tidy state it was in last weekend for my Mum’s birthday!  I hope that they ask me again so I can have half a brain and say yes please, that would be lovely!  I do feel a bit like I used to at school where I was mainly ignored and therefore if someone talks to me I go all shy.  Which is ridiculous at my age.  And I thought I was more aware of my own self-worth than that!

Joel is loving pre-school.  The only thing he doesn’t like is the fact its half a day.  He wants to stay all day long!  The teachers have commented on his concentration.  Apparently yesterday he helped to unscrew a keyboard (from a computer) and spent ages looking at it, fascinated by the way it was put together and worked.  Maybe I’ve got a little engineer or technologist on my hands!  It’s nice to know that he’s good at school and he saves his naughty self for home, which I know is only when he’s bored or tired.  It’s just such work to keep him stimulated!!!

He’s still funny with things he says.  I’ve started to dread what he says to strangers, ever since he shouted ‘look at that silly man’ very loudly when a perfectly normal man was walking by us.  This morning he told me ‘I love your dress Mummy’ which made me laugh as I was wearing a nightie!  He’s very observant and comes out with some proper corkers!!  Which I can never remember later on to record here, although it’s not the same reading them is it?!

What else?  Well, Josiah has suddenly worked out eating, which is a big relief.  He wasn’t well two weeks ago, and I was meant to get him weighed again with the health visitors but decided against it as they’d only make me feel worse as I’m sure he hadn’t put enough weight on.  He hadn’t fed from me for ages, my supply was worrying me and as he wasn’t eating food he was pretty much having nothing.  But I persevered, and bought some nursing tea (pricey from Amazon but seems to be really helping so worth it) and I have a cup in a morning and my boobs feel fuller and I can feel my let down again now.  Anyway, once he was over his lurgy, his top two teeth popped out and now he enjoys sitting in his high chair and chomping on whatever we’re eating.

Last night we had jacket potatoes, chicken, corn on the cob, carrots and courgette and he loved it all!  He’s happy for me to pop food in his mouth with my fingers and he chomps on it, or he likes picking it up himself to have a go with:

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He is still not taking a bottle, and with his teeth breast feeding is a little uncomfortable.  I can feel his top teeth sort of chomping on me.  Not so painful to stop all together yet, but not great.  But until I can get him to accept milk in a different format I’m sort of stuck with it I guess.  He can sit up now, but isn’t crawling yet.  He rolls around the room and is pretty fast at it, and if you leave him at one end, chances are he’s in the corner getting cross at the wall being in the way two minutes later!  So the boys are all good at the moment.

And in other news, I am attempting to set up a business!  I have bought a franchise called Moo Music, and will be running a couple of singing sessions a week.  I don’t know how it will go down really, I’m looking at hiring a church hall for a Monday session at the moment.  I’m sure lots of people will come along to the free tasters, but whether they’ll book for a half term’s worth I’m not sure.  I need at least three paid children to cover the hall cost, and am meant to try to get 20 for a full group.  At £4 per child per session, that’s £64 profit and with four sessions a month just over £250 a month!  But not bad for an hours work (not including preparation of course)!  My aim is to replicate my current take home from the University so after Christmas will be looking to have three groups.  Then I can think about handing my notice in, to concentrate on Moo Music.  It’s something that I’ve always felt I could do, but never thought I could make a career of.  I’m terrified and excited all at once.  If it doesn’t work it’s not the end of the world.  We’ve not invested so much that it’s a problem.  But if it does work, it could be wonderful.

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Mum’s birthday cakes!!

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Below you can see the new dining room floor!  And my lounge looking almost tidy, well it was until the kids tipped the toys out!  But it’s still better than normal!

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And Joel was a good boy at the dentist last week, so I took him for an icecream, and the fellow said he didn’t know how to do a kiddie cone (which is quite small) so he got this!!  Everyone was laughing at Joel trying to eat it without it spilling everywhere and he couldn’t quite manage it all!  He also had his pre-school injections.  One arm was ok, and no tears but when it came to the second injection in the other arm he tried to hide it, saying ‘the lady is going to hurt me’ but on presentation of a Freddo chocolate he allowed her to give him the second injection, and again, no tears.  I was really proud of him.  I also had a flu jab and we all felt a bit rubbish for the rest of the week.