Still Cooking….

I really don’t do well at this patience lark.

Every niggle, every twinge, I can’t help but wonder ‘is this it?’

I don’t feel relaxed or rested yet!  The bathroom is still underway with the builders due back on Monday.  They’re hoping to be done by Wednesday which would mean they’d been here for 10 days, although with two weekends in between where we’ve still been without a bath or shower facilities!  Thank goodness my parents live so close and we’ve been popping round for showers and baths in between!  I don’t what we’d have done if they weren’t around.  We’d have had to sneak into the local gym or something?!

There is a lot of progress though.  The tiles are on, albeit not grouted yet.  The sink and toilet are in.  The flooring is down.  The taps are fitted.  All that remains is the shower, the lights, the extractor fan, the heated towel rail and all that plumbing is set up and ready to go.   Oh, and the payment of course!!  Even Steve is coming round to the idea of progress now.  I think because he’s met the builders and they’re nice guys he’s talking about getting them to quote and give ideas for our kitchen extension.  I can’t even think about that this year.  It’ll cost a lot and be such an inconvenience whilst being done I don’t think we should do it for a couple of years to be honest and focus on the garden and hall stairs and landing.  But we’ll see.

I’ve been struggling to sleep again.   Last night I woke at 1.30 feeling really strange.  I couldn’t work out if I was going to be sick or what, and lay there for a short while just wondering if it was going to be a big body clear out.  It wasn’t.  And I went back to sleep an hour later.   And now I’m awake at 5am again, and as I lay there thinking about a bowl of Kellogg’s Frosties I just felt hungry so have come down to eat, and wrap a present!

Joel has a birthday party today.  It’s a boy from his nursery who is going to be 4.   He likes pirates and Star Wars.   Star Wars stuff is really expensive it turns out, so I’ve bought him a pirate card game with good reviews on Amazon!!  I had bought a pirate book, but decided it’s a bit young for a four year old and he’s likely already got it if that’s the case.  I did forget the wrapping paper though and part of my weird dreaming stage has involved stressing about how to wrap this present up today so I must find the sellotape soon and see whether the scrap of boyish non-Christmas paper I’ve located will do!

Dreams are so strange at the moment.  With worrying about wrapping this gift I was dreaming that we had to stop to buy paper on the way and as I was trying to wrap in the car on the way the gift was getting smaller and smaller and I was frantically bulking it out with extra paper and it ended up being the size of a stamp and would get lost easily!

The other night I dreamt that the neighbours let themselves into our house with brooms to sweep the frogs away, and I was confused as we don’t have frogs, but then we did and they were all in the conservatory, big greeny brown ones, and when I went into the garden I was stepping on them, so we got brushes to sweep them away and went to our local Premiership football stadium and were in the tunnel trying to crochet but frogs were there too.  I have no idea why I was thinking about any of that other than the crochet as I’ve been trying to learn and failing miserably!!

So here I am.   No other signs that any baby arrival is imminent.  I’ve been having a few more tummy tightenings but no ‘show’ as yet.  My stomach is giant and the skin has gone all shiny from the stretched stretch marks.   I’m aching all the time, and trying to nest as best I can.   I have not had any inclination to clean kitchen cupboards or anything like that but I am stressing about getting the nursery and upstairs tidy and clean which I can’t do at the moment with afore mentioned builders.   I’ve washed every bit of baby linen and clothing I can get my hands on, rearranged the baby wardrobe and chest of drawers to put all Joel’s stuff in the drawers now and all baby’s stuff in the wardrobe.  And I think I want some shelves putting up too.   All to help with storage and places to put things.   I don’t think I have enough places to put things yet, and I want to be organised and be able to put my hands on something when needed without too much bother.

Which is why I’m cross i can’t find the sellotape right now!  Unless Steve left it in his garage after his Christmas wrapping?  Worth a check I think.


I just can’t sleep 😦

Every time I feel that I’m almost asleep I suddenly feel hungry, achey, baby kicks out (seriously, earlier it felt like he was kicking me under my left armpit!  What’s that all about?!) plus I had another TMI incident this afternoon which has resulted in another lovely bout of piles 😦  I now understand what people mean when they talk about the ‘bunch of grapes’ and I really didn’t want to know what that felt like.  Ever.   I have just had enough of this baby pushing down so much, you know, ‘there’.  I really think he’s done it to me!  Things were ok yesterday.  And today –  blah.

The bathroom men showed up yesterday and will be starting today.  We should be getting a skip on the drive for all the old stuff to go in and I’ll be able to fling some rubbish we’ve accumulated into it as well.

Here it is in it’s lovely tiny pink and green style:

photo 5 (2)


The green carpeted floor and wooden accessories highlight the pale pink suite with corner bath….

photo 4 (5)

The wooden dado rail and busy green tiles and wallpaper with fitted cupboards!

photo 3 (9)

The lovely exposed piping and broken shower (which actually has good pressure and would be ok if not broken!!)

photo 2 (9)

The sink and shelf…

photo 1 (10)


And the boxed in toilet and bath again.

Project management of getting these things done is tiring.  Plus with not realising I had to really source all the things we needed has been a bit of a headache!!

I’ve had to spend more money than I thought on getting the shower, paint, door handles, thermostatic thingys which are angled and straight, taps, and all these little things I didn’t think about before.  I spent well over half a day researching online, Ebay, Amazon, and big store sales and managed to save quite a lot of money.  Steve just looks fed up with the costs rising.   I had told him that this sort of thing happens and he needed to prepare a ‘buffer’ zone with money.   I just don’t get how he thinks he can pay the bare minimum for everything.   He’s really trying to undercut it all.  As long as we have the £2500 for the labour we should be ok now I hope.   He’s put £400 in our savings, I’ve saved £1000 and he has £1100 sitting in his desk somewhere.   See what I mean, the bare minimum of £2500 dotted around the area in various accounts.   One big lump sum in one place would be far easier to manage.  There may be more surprises as like I’ve tried to explain to him, they don’t know what state things will be in once they start removing tiles and getting old baths out.   It could be awful!!  Or it could be fine and we have no hidden costs.

So now I’ve bought a shower (a big static rain head one with a separate hand held bit too), sink taps, bath taps, plugs for both, a heated towel rail, the white p shaped shower bath, toilet and sink, a mirror which tilts up for 6ft Steve and down for 5ft me, a glass shelf, a hook for our robes, a cup for toothbrushes, a new chrome bin, a chrome light pull, a pot of paint, a bathroom privacy lock for a new door, 5 boxes of white tiles and some navy/black mosaic tiles and all I’ve forgotten is the flooring which I will have to just go out and find some of tomorrow as the men want everything on site by tomorrow to just get on with it.

They’ve promised to leave us with a toilet overnight each night, but in the day I will have to waddle to my Mums if I need the loo!  So I will be hanging out there a lot this week, and have to leave Izzy there so she doesn’t escape.  Plus I’ll be out at the hospital for the afternoon with my appointments.  I wonder whether that’s anything to do with my current insomnia as well?

It’s all a bit stressy with getting bathroom done and waiting for a baby I think.  Not to mention that Steve has relapsed into helpless pathetic hopelessness again.  I know it sounds very unsympathetic but I’m beginning to resent his flapping hands, his over exaggerated shivering and general moaning of being cold all the time.  If I make a grimace because I’ve been kicked in the ribs, he makes more of an ‘ooohhh’ noise because he’s so ill.  It’s like he’s trying to make suffering into a competition.   He moans that he’s ill if I need some help around the house, but is happy to go out of an evening because ‘that will help him recover’.   I’ve felt so unsupported throughout this whole pregnancy by him it’s untrue.  I know he’s been busy with work a lot before Christmas, but I’ve felt so alone throughout it.  He’s taken no interest really whatsoever.  This past two weeks  I’ve tried to help him, and encourage him to have early nights and rest up, and get better.   But until he starts actually acting on advice, rather than going out of an evening, getting himself more tired, not even wearing a coat in the cold rain I don’t know what he thinks will happen.  He just doesn’t care enough to look after himself properly which I see as immature and selfish.   He has to start putting family first, and thinking about getting himself better as I’m going to be relying on him very soon, I should be able to rely on him now but can’t as he’s just acting pathetically at the moment.   I know it’s different for men during pregnancy from women.  Its not real for them until the baby is here but so many men seem to be cherishing their partners and I just would have loved to have known what that felt like!!  Sad I know, but there you go.

Anyway, these are a few of the musings taking over my brain and keeping me from sleep.  I may try and doze on the sofa, or attempt to go back to bed now.  I’m tired in body but not in mind.  But must rest as best I can.   Goodnight again.

Bump Pic and Party

So here are my bump pics from Tuesday:

photo 2 (7)

Feet, feet, where fore art thou feet?!

photo 1 (8)


And on Tuesday Steve asked me whether he had anything suitable to wear to a black tie event.  Apparently he’d had an invite for us to attend a charity function on Friday night!!  I had to laugh.  This is very Steve, all last minute and not a clue about anything.

So I told him that he did not have anything suitable for black tie.  He obviously thought a regular suit with an actual black tie was all that was required.  I don’t know how he can know so little about these sorts of things!!  So after we went to the funeral on Wednesday we headed into town to try and rent him a suit for Friday to be told these things weren’t kept in stock and needed ordering weeks in advance!  But to rent a suit was about £70 and to buy one in their sale was currently £75.  So we bought him a suit, the dress shirt, a bow tie and a new pair of shoes which are considerably smarter than anything else he has ever owned!!  I guess these sort of invites will continue to come in as he’s mixing in these business circles.

What other ‘Steveisms’ can I regale you with?  We had a little dispute when I enquired where his cufflinks might be.  He said he didn’t need them, that he would just fasten the buttons on the sleeves.  I had to explain that dress shirts do not have buttons and cufflinks are required!  Whilst he was determined to use the buttons, (because of course I was wrong on this matter), I borrowed my Dad’s cuff link collection so that when he realised he did need them I had a pair on hand!!

Of course, it’s not just not knowing what to wear for occasions.  He generally gets confused with vocabulary!  The other day he was talking about a ‘tactile email’ from our minister.  I wasn’t quite sure what he meant, so said tactile meant ‘touchy-feely’ and he said I was wrong.  Of course, as he says I’m wrong he’s pulling out his i-phone to check the dictionary definition and after looking up three accepted that I was right and he had been using the word incorrectly.   Better with me than with a client I guess!!

Then he asked if I could hire a dress.  I told him women’s wear didn’t quite work the same as menswear.  But I did get a lovely black lace maternity dress quite cheaply from New Look.  And it seemed to be the right thing to wear as last night pretty much all the ladies were in black lace dresses and all the men were in black tie and it does help you feel more comfortable in a room full of strangers looking as though you ought to be there!

When we got there we were on the VIP table with our local MP and other representatives from the PR company who had invited us.  They were all friendly and we had some nice conversations whilst having a lovely four course meal!  We had soup to start, then roast turkey, Christmas pudding, a cheeseboard and mince pies!  I was very hungry and ate everything and then felt uncomfortably full once we were home!!  Then the highlight of the evening was watching a soul band perform from the 70’s!!  Their promotional photo on the menu made them look quite young so it was really amusing to see these three old men hobble out and then proceed to sing heartily for 45 minutes!  They were called ‘The Real Thing’ and sang ‘You to me are everything’ which was the only song I knew!!

I found a full length mirror in the ladies so this is me in my dress!

photo 3 (7)

I have legs!  I’m sure this time with Joel I had swollen legs and cankles!!


photo 4 (4)

And here we are at our table:



It was a fun evening and Steve appreciated me making the effort to be there with him.  Although he’s great in a business setting with his networking and selling himself, in a social setting he still gets a bit awkward and seems unsure of himself so that’s where I come in!!  I’m happy to chat to anyone about anything and it was nice to meet some folk from his networking group.

I have to say I’m suffering today though.  Having worn heels for the first time in ages I’m really achy and overtired but it was worth it.  I’m very glad we have a quiet Saturday today.  Joel is playing happily with his lego and we’re going round to my parents to put their tree up after lunch.  Maybe we could fit a quick nap in beforehand too!


Good Morning

photo 1 (7)

It’s a lovely morning here with a beautiful sunrise.  This is looking out of our side window over the woods with next door at the forefront.  It’s got colder suddenly at night but when the sun’s out it makes a difference.

I’ve not been sleeping so well at night again.  I think I might be excited about Christmas!!  And baby was swimming about last night and actually pushing along the inside of my tummy which was very weird.  It made me think of shark fins for some reason.   In my groggy 4am state I don’t feel that I’m properly appreciating all this movement.  Joel was coughing a lot so I kept getting up try and prop him up on his pillow to help and dot karvol around his duvet.

Yesterday was Joel’s nursery Christmas fayre so we three went along to spend some pennies.  We bought Steve a Christmas present of mini speakers which he said he wanted from a stall and some cakes, sweets, Joel said hello to Father Christmas, went on the Lucky Dip, made a tree decoration and generally ran around and caused chaos with all the other kiddies.  It looked like fun if you were two!!!  His friend Trudy was glad to see him as well and those two seemed to end up everywhere they shouldn’t!!  Pickles the pair of them although I do feel that Joel is a bit of a naughty ring leader and leads others into doing naughty things!



photo 2 (6)

This is our tree this morning.  I’ve put the lights on a timer so they are on when we come down in the morning.  Joel loves it and thinks its the prettiest tree ever!  It’s a 5ft one I’ve had for 10 years and it’s starting to show its age.    We’ve collected different decorations over the past few years so it’s not a ‘designer’ tree by any sense of the word but I think it’s all the more charming for it!

We’ve put our presents around it, (and hidden a lot under the table too) which he’s not really showing any interest in yet.  I finished all my wrapping last night thank goodness and just have cards to write now.  I find it easier to spread everything out on the floor and do it that way but it’s certainly getting harder with a bump in the way and my pelvis feels as though it’s actually falling apart now.   The only issue was that the Wow Playmat I’d ordered from Amazon turned out to be the wrong thing!  I hadn’t opened it, as it’s quite big and bulky but I should have checked I know.  I had ordered it two days before the extended Christmas return period so was a bit stuck with a giant (what I assume was) plastic sticker sheet!  It was meant to be a fleecy carpet rug.  Panicking I rang Amazon directly who were very helpful, refunded me the cost of that and are sending a courier tomorrow to collect it.  I’ve since ordered a new one which should be correct and also arrive tomorrow.  Could have been disastrous.

photo 3 (6)


This is my lovely fireplace.  I love my Willowtree nativity scene.   We bought the garland to sit on it this year and it’s always nice to get Joel’s first Christmas pic out again!    And my scented candles and tealight burners.  We don’t light those when Joel’s around though.  He already seems to have a fascination with fire!!    I just need to work out where to put a nail to hang Joel’s stocking ready for Christmas Eve!!

Oh, and also you remember my messy corner which needed sorting in the dining room?  Well, we took our old freezer to the recycling centre yesterday (it’s been stood in the utility for months getting in the way!!) and noticed that the big charity shop next door was still open so called in to see what they’d got by way of furniture and we found this TV unit which sort of matches my Grandma’s walnut bureau.  It’s not proper wood at all, it’s a veneer, but it was £15 and does the job for now and blends in with our furniture:

photo (8)


So all that is remaining now is to put the wooden floor down.  Steve didn’t like this cabinet to start with.  He has something against old furniture.  I however wouldn’t let him get the silver plywood units that were so popular in the 1990’s as they are hideous!!!  I wanted something that looked classic and blends with the era of the house.  And on getting it home he agreed with me.  I just wish he could accept that if he were left to furnish a house it was be terrible and to go with what I say to start with!  It would save a lot of time and energy.

This store is sort of a recycling centre for second hand furniture and you get some gorgeous antiquey pieces.  I fell in love with a hallway unit with coat hooks, a little drawer suitable for a dogs lead etc… umbrella compartment, it had a mirror and some lovely woodwork but Steve said he didn’t want old things in the house!  Honestly.  I could have replaced the hooks, given it a wax and it was a lot cheaper at £75 than anything I’ve had my eye on.  He just doesn’t see potential in things.  But I’d got my way with the TV unit so left it at that!

Coughs and Husbands

I’ve been asthmatic for a few years now.  It all began when I got really bad bronchitis, was off work for a few weeks and was really poorly.  Since then I just seem to get chest infections and need inhalers when the weather gets cold.  I’m fine during the summer, but need a steroid inhaler to strengthen my lungs and a reliever for when I get too wheezy.

So I do feel justified in being signed off work this week with another chest infection.  I know from experience that going into work and not resting only exacerbates the issues and results in me needing longer off work.

Being married to someone who doesn’t believe in getting ill 95% of the time (and is a terrible patient the other 5%) does get a bit wearing!  Especially at the moment as he has a little cough and keeps saying things like “maybe others have got this illness ‘we’ve’ got”.  I think to myself, he is not a pregnant asthmatic with a chest infection and a pulled stomach muscle.  He cannot count his little tickly cough with my lung wrenching painful stomach cramping cough.  He can’t way ‘We’ as he doesn’t have what I have!  He can’t take away my illness from me!!

I’ve had a lovely couple of days at home though. I’ve had the heating on, snuggled under a fleecy blanket, drunk hot blackcurrant squash, finished watching Nashville season 1 (oh my, it’s engaging!!) and napped every afternoon till about 3pm.  It really is what the doctor ordered.

Today I did a bit of online shopping (hurray for pay day) and have some wall stickers arriving for the nursery tomorrow so hopefully I’ll get them put up and can then show my photos off!!  I’ve also bought a birthing ball.  This baby is still sideways and I want to start sitting and bouncing to encourage him into place.  I did have one for when expecting Joel but Steve seems to think he may have binned it.  Or something.  Goodness knows.

A lady from church put this picture on my facebook page today asking where the other two were hiding:



I am looking rather all out there with the bump at the moment but am not prepared for more than one.  Steve said if there were more than one in there he’d ask for his money back.  I said ‘what money?!  what have you paid for?!’ as it’s not as though you pay the NHS for a scan!!  And we’ve had enough scans to be assured there is only one.  I’m just a short person and the only way is out for this baby.  It would be nice though if there were two and I could send Steve for a vasectomy!!  It’s funny as he always said he wouldn’t have one and I would need my tubes tied.  I’ve always maintained it’s easier for the man to get the snip and I wouldn’t contemplate having it done.  Anyway, I’ve always thought three was a good number.  But suddenly Steve is saying two is the end.  I don’t know.  I will wait to see how I feel in a years time and whether I could even cope with another pregnancy.  It’s harder this time than last I think.  Before we married he wanted four!!

The bump is getting very tight and itchy now.  I’m using Palmers cocoa butter lotion to try to soothe it down but I think this is where the skin’s elasticity goes to the point of no return.  I’m expecting stretch marks to start pinging their way along any time soon 😦



And I saw this today and though how very true.  Steve sleeps through anything.  Comes to bed late after going out to watch TV shows with his friend, gets up late and goes straight to work whilst I’m up in the night seeing to Joel if he wakes, getting him sorted in the morning, dealing with trying to dress a toddler who does not want to take his pyjamas off  (“Mummy, I need my pyjamas on”) and going out in the cold to get him to nursery in time for breakfast.  Whilst I’m meant to be signed off work.    It’s all right for some isn’t it.  And it normally seems to be better for the husbands.  Steve thinks I’m too controlling at times and things have to be done my way.  Maybe he’s right.  I don’t really trust him to do things right when it comes to Joel but that’s because the times he’s been left in charge, he’s not got to nursery in time for breakfast so has gone without until snack time!!

I think he knows that he has to up his game when this baby arrives and he can’t laze in bed and go to his office with 15 minutes to spare.  He will have to get up and dress Joel and sort things for nursery.  He can’t expect me to do night feeds and be up in a morning.  It will be interesting to say the least and I anticipate some blazing rows ahead.  But hopefully we’ll adjust and be a good team again.  Ooh-er 😦

Chills and Sniffles

Am I still grumpy?  Not so much today.

Am I still tired?  Yes!   I am still not sleeping with waking up through the night for toilet trips, turning over in bed and now I have a wretched cough which has caused me to pull a stomach muscle so coughing is not only annoying for my throat, but is agony for my side as well.  It’s worrying thinking about baby in there, but I can feel him moving about so he is fine but I feel as though I can only cough clutching my side in an effort to hold things in place to alleviate the stabbing pains 😦

I’m glad I’ve not been at work this week although I’m not sure I will be fit for work next week either at this rate!  I did go to the doctor yesterday who said I had a bit of a temperature and my ears were inflamed but not enough for antibiotics and to go back Monday if I wasn’t feeling better.  She also gave me some syrup for my cough which is ok for pregnancy.  Whether it will help or not I don’t know.

I will certainly attempt to nap today and put Joel down for a sleep.  As it’s Friday he can stay up a bit later if he wants to and hopefully see Steve who hasn’t been getting in till after 10pm every night as he’s working so many hours at the moment.

And I’ll keep sipping my hot water, lemon and honey!!  And taking paracetamol for all the good that it’s not doing 😦  *sigh*

Oh, and in other news, Joel has been dry in the day since one accident on Sunday, and that was after a dry weekend too, so one accident in 8 days is great!!  He’s been taking himself to sit on his potty when he needs to go.  At his toddler group on Tuesday my Mum told me he kept pulling his trousers and pants down where he was playing then waddling like a penguin to where the potty was!!  He doesn’t realise its quicker to run there with trousers up and pull down ready to sit down!!  But at least he’s sensing the signals!!


29 Weeks

How far along:  29 Weeks :)  Despite the smiley face I’m not the most positive person this week.

Total Weight Gained:  Not sure this week.  No scales to stand on.

Maternity Clothes:   Yes indeed.

Stretch Marks:  Nothing new yet.  A lady at work was showing me hers saying which ones were from her first and which were from her second!  I wouldn’t have thought I’d have been able to tell the difference to be honest!!

Sleep:   Awful.  I am so tired and achey today.  I had a terrible night’s sleep.  My hips and pelvis are so painful at the moment and I’m going to have to start sleeping on a duvet I think for extra softness as my maternity pillow is not cutting it any more.  I’m aching, weepy and very emotional this morning.  My Mum walked in and commented on how many pairs of shoes there are in the hall and I’ve spent the last 10 minutes crying about it.  Yes there are a lot but I cannot be bothered to move them.  Half of them are Steve’s giant shoes which take up a lot more space than my shoes anyway.  And part of me feels if he isn’t bothered to do anything to help me, why should I even bother.  He wouldn’t notice.  Everything feels like it’s a tip and things are not progressing as fast as I’d like on the house and my dream of it all being done by Christmas is slowly fading.  I don’t have the energy to tidy everything away and we don’t have homes for everything yet.  I was meant to be starting our bedroom this week but the nursery isn’t finished so I just don’t have the space to move all the furniture about to get at the walls.  I’m too tired to do much anyway and am reliant on others to help which means if they’re busy it just won’t get done.  And I can’t afford to buy the shelves I need to give things a home to make things tidier so they are stacked about in boxes which my Mum comments on ‘needs sorting’.  I agree and if someone wants to give me a big influx of cash, I can sort things.  If not, please don’t comment.  I’m too emotional this week to handle unhelpful comments like that.

Best Moment of the Week:   I’m not sure I have one.  I’m very down this week and not coping with the tiredness.

Movement:  Yes, lots of night time kicking, prodding and squirming at the moment.  Thus the tiredness.

Food Cravings:   I’m starting to struggle with meals.  I can’t physically fit a proper sized meal in without feeling ill, so little and often is the way I think from this point.  I just had beans on toast for tea and a bowl of cereal for supper yesterday.  I can’t face cooking a big meal that Steve will turn his nose up at and mean a whole lot of clearing and washing up for me later.  (Yes, Steve still hasn’t touched any cleaning or clearing from last week).

Gender:  He’s a baby boy!!

Belly Button:  Flat flat flat.  I think my bump is pretty neat and round at the moment.  I began getting weird poking coming out of my side last night so my whole stomach was lurching about.

What I miss:  Feeling normal.  Feeling like I can do things and sort things.  I hate being helpless.  I’ve been quite an independent person since moving into my own house over 10 years ago and having to rely on others to do things for me to get things done is taking it’s toll.  I can’t just get on and do my own decorating and no, it’s not teaching me patience.  It’s making me fed up.  And have to bite my tongue a lot and sound awfully ungrateful.

What I’m looking forward to:  I don’t know.  The thought of 5 more weeks of work is rather wretched.  I feel fit for nothing.

Milestones:  Erm, maybe losing my positivity is a milestone.  I met a girl in the supermarket yesterday who I know from school and she is expecting her second baby a couple of months after me.  She said she had no idea carrying a second baby was so hard when looking after a toddler.  She too is suffering with her back and pelvis, sleep deprivation, she wasn’t holding back and I was so glad to be able to hear that someone else is feeling like me!  I don’t like feeling as though I’m moaning all the time.  I feel bad moaning and grumbling about something I wanted.  But today, I am a moaner.  I am a grumbler.  I apologise for not feeling positive all the time.  I know I ought to.  But this is hard.  And I hurt.  And my energy is sapping away.  And even typing this I’m feeling like crying because I’m fed up.

Bump Pic:  soon….  but in the meantime this is me today.  Again apologies.  Did I mention I also have a dry tickly cough.  Yep, that’s not helping matters either.


bad day quote purple