The 8 Week Checks…..

On Tuesday Josiah was 9 weeks old, and went along for his 8 week check.

He had developed the worst case of cradle cap I’d ever seen, it was all down his forehead to his eyebrows and he’d also scratched himself right by his eye which looked terrible so I thought how typical it was.  He also still had a gunky and squinty left eye which despite me putting a drop in 4 times a day, was still not quite right.

Anyway, he saw the Dr first and was pronounced healthy with no problems.  He said to keep oiling his head, to keep using the drops and also that he’d not got enough green poop on the last visit for the hospital to test so I have to try again!  I have a little pot to try to get it in 😦  Then I have to rush it along to the hospital within 2 hours.  Fun times ahead!

Then we went along to the nurse and she got the rotavirus drops out first, and he was very resistant, as he’s not known anything except breast milk and didn’t know how to swallow them without sucking so that took ages to get them down.

And then it was his two injections, one per thigh and he howled!!  Proper loud yells, but the moment it was over I latched him on and he fed and was happy enough by the time we left her room.

Finally it was over to the health visitor for weighing.  They took one look at his head and prescribed me some heavy duty ointment which they advised to leave on for 24 hours before washing off and brushing the scales away.  I put it on him yesterday and he was like a vaseline covered gunky creature, but it has done a great job.  I’m sure that he’s feeling itchy with it all as he keeps rubbing his face on shoulders and arms trying to scratch it and making his face very dry looking.

He’s only put 5oz on in the past fortnight (13lbs 7oz), so that means he’s dropped down to the 75th percentile.  I’m sure that it is to do with his green nappies.  They said not to worry and they only get concerned if he drops another ‘channel’ so I’m to get him weighed in another couple of weeks.  I guess I’m worrying that my milk isn’t enough for him.  I love being able to breast feed him.  I love the cuddles and quiet times, the sleepy bed feeds and the fact it’s our private time.  But obviously if we have to go to bottles for him then we would.  It would be a big change though and I’d have to learn the sterilisation methods and be really organised 😦  Breast is so much easier.

Anyway, this is my little man on getting home, so I think he was feeling ok at this point!!

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He didn’t sleep well though and went from his regular 6 hours, feed then another 4 hours sleeping time to every two hours again.   Couple that with Joel getting into bed with us at some point as well and none of us had a good night at all.  Then yesterday Josiah was very clingy, and wanted Mummy cuddles all day which was fine by me.  I love cuddling him!  However, Steve’s parents are visiting for Easter and Joel’s birthday, so would have preferred some happy Joss cuddles too, but it wasn’t happening at all.

Last night though after a raised temperature with a little calpol to help out he slept his 6 hours again and then 5 hours.  So he is back to normal in one regard, but has now developed the same cough that Joel has had, so both are going to the Dr again this afternoon so I can get them checked over before the 4 day weekend.  I do not want to be rushing to hospital over Easter thank you very much!!  Hearing a new(ish) baby cough is such a worry.  I just want Joel to stop coughing, (it’s been back for a week now) as he’s been off and on with it over a month.  I want everyone to be fit and well for Joel’s birthday weekend!  Of course, with worrying about the boys I’ve got run down too, and I’ve been feeling full of cold but I will soldier on and take as much paracetamol as I can to get through till next week.  Then it will be a quiet and relaxing week for us with possibly a birthday treat day out for Joel.  Mum and Dad want to take him out to a zoo or animal farm or something.

I am a creature of habit and like things to run to order!!  Everything gets a bit upside down when the inlaws visit, but they love seeing Joel and he loves seeing them.  And my Father in Law is building the climbing frame for us which is brilliant.  It’s for his birthday and lots of family members have contributed towards it which is lovely.  It’s sort of an investment for his playing future!  There isn’t a decent playpark suitable near enough so I figured he could have one in his garden instead!!

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And still here waiting!

Getting more and more tired and fed up with aches and pains.

I’ve given up walking even short strolls as baby is so low it’s painfully uncomfortable and I just need to wee all the time!  I keep getting stabbing pains down below and presume its down to the extra nether region pressure and extra pints of blood going round my system.

I’ve been napping lots each day, and working on a jigsaw as a means of relaxing.  I completed it today so baby can come whenever he likes.  It was a good one which I didn’t think I’d manage on my own, but I’m proud to say I did every single of the 1000 pieces myself!!  Who knew I could sort a puzzle!!

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Yawn.  I could do with a nap now to be honest.  Maybe I’ll put  a film on for Joel to watch to keep him quiet for an hour and see if I can doze on the sofa with him.  I feel so bad that I’m not engaging him properly but it won’t be for much longer.  I just cannot get on the floor to push trains round at the moment and the more I’m on my feet the more I hurt!

Steve has been quite good at entertaining him when he’s around to let me have rests and naps and yesterday took him to a park for the morning and shopping in Asda for an hour in the afternoon.  My parents had him on friday so I could have a quiet day as well.  The only issue is at nighttime as he wants me to read him the bedtime story and tuck him in.  But I have been doing it every evening as he won’t be the only one soon, and I want to cherish these last few days of him being an only child and cuddle him and kiss him before bedtime.  It’s the only time he’ll let me really as in the day he’s far too busy!!

On Thursday I had to laugh as Steve took him to nursery and is finally getting a taste of how difficult chasing a toddler round the house is to get them ready to head out.   Steve was trying to get Joel to put a woolly jumper on as it was chilly out and Joel was arguing that he had a t-shirt on and did not want a jumper.  He’s quite good at answering back already and I could tell Steve was beginning to get exasperated.   Combine that with a child who won’t put a coat on, shoes on or get in his buggy and you have a fun situation that I normally get each morning so I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself whilst heading back to bed for the morning!  Bliss!!

Tomorrow is D Day….

And I really don’t feel as though anything will happen.

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I have tidied the house, cleared up our bedroom, vacuumed all round, got meals stored in the freezer, given up on crochet, got the nursery sorted, found the pieces for the changing unit I have decided to put downstairs as a nappy and stuff base (it was useful at our old house) built a laundry hamper for the bathroom and a little cupboard to store my lotions and potions in, washed up breakfast and lunch, cooked dinner (hoping Steve will wash up dinner plates before bed), sorted the dog, fed the birds, got more food in, bought enough cereal to last 2 weeks, and to be honest, I feel the most achey and tired I have ever felt.  I don’t think it’s from doing all the above, I’ve just felt like this all day and I slept ok last night and got to lie in till 8am this morning (wowsers!!) so i’m wondering whether it’s a sign my body is trying to conserve energy, I just don’t know what to expect.

Anyway, I’m still here and pregnant at 39+6 so we’ll have to see if I get to do a 40 weeks countdown post tomorrow!!!

The Wee Small Hours Again….

Here we are again at 5am.

I’m tired but can’t sleep so have come downstairs for a cup of tea.

I can feel baby pushing about down below and up high in my ribs like he’s trying to stretch.   Well, he hasn’t pushed enough to be a January baby yet!  Here we are on the 1st February so I can definitely say I will have a baby this month.

I have three days until my due date today.  And still no signs of anything.

That appointment with the consultant on Wednesday is getting closer.  And I don’t know what the outcome will be.   I didn’t want to be induced again.   I guess I have no faith that my body will react positively with it.  I don’t have a lovely birth experience to draw on to reassure me.  But do I really want another c-section?  The recovery from last time wasn’t great either.  I know natural births are the way to go, but if my body once again doesn’t start anything, what do I do?

I’m in a quandry and feeling stressed over my options.  I guess when it comes down to it, I need to do what is best for baby.   Steve seemed to be under the impression baby would be here one way or another by next weekend.  Which isn’t quite true as if on Wednesday they decide to leave me another week to see whether things happen of their own accord after my stretch and sweep it could take us to the 12th Feb.   This could be a Valentines baby.  He wants to be able to book work in, but doesn’t get I have no control over any of this and I’m certainly not going to  be booking a section to help his diary out if I don’t feel it’s in our best interests!!  The only reason we went with induction last time was that all his family were here and I was fed up with being so pregnant, and we took induction too lightly, and if we hadn’t, chances were baby would have arrived after they’d had to go home so I felt pressured to help him arrive sooner rather than later.

This time I guess I’m more inclined to wait but even that scares me!!

I guess its called labour for a reason.  Argh.   Women do it every day.  I can do this.  It’ll be ok.  Argh!!!

 

Oh What A Night….. And Day…..

With 5 days to go to my due date I sort of feel as though I’ve not been able to fully relax on maternity leave yet.  With having the builders in I’ve not had my house to myself for the duration, and now they’ve completed and we’re having the issues over the extra money they want that is stressing me out.

This morning I received news that where I work are closing the campus and relocating to Stoke.   Admittedly its only 30 minutes away but it’s a nightmare of a journey and there will be redundancies before that happens anyway.   Pretty much we’ve known all admin will be restructured for this September so we’ll be culled before the move, but to think our town is losing its Uni campus is a blow as well.   I’ve been working there for 13 years and have really liked it.  It was a great place to work.

When I went off for maternity with Joel I knew I’d be going back there and what I’d be doing and now I’m facing a very uncertain future.  We don’t know whether the nursery on site will be sold off, so where this baby will go I’m not sure, I wanted him to go there too as it’s been so good for Joel.   I don’t know if I’ll even have a job and if I did get one of the new posts, what I’d be doing and whether I could remain part time.  I don’t like feeling so out of control of my future.

On Tuesday Joel came down with a little cough.  He went to nursery yesterday and was happy enough, but still coughing but last night was awful.   He got a very high fever, woke every couple of hours so I was up and down with him, trying to remember when he last had Calpol or Ibuprofen, giving him water, cuddles, stories and at 5am he finally seemed to fall into a proper sleep and his temperature came down.   But he fell asleep in my bed so I was evicted to the spare room!  Part of me thought that as Steve had said he’d be on Joel duty for the morning I’d get to lie in a bit but at 8.15am I heard Joel crying so went in to see what was going on and Joel was sat next to Steve in bed, crying as Daddy wouldn’t wake up.  I was cross to say the least.  I woke Steve up and told him I’d had about two hours sleep, and how could he ignore Joel crying next to him in bed!  He has to learn to hear him and not zone him out.   It’s worrying that this will happen after regular nights of no sleep with a new born and I’ll have to depend more on my parents than my husband for nap times which I think is wrong and letting Steve get away with his responsibilities.

Anyway, Joel was not well all day and I got him into the Doctors for 11.30.   We got to the surgery and after waiting ages (you can tell when he’s properly ill as he sits quietly on my knee) we saw the doctor to be told that he’s got a chest infection.  He seems to come down with these things so fast.   So we’ve got antibiotics and chocolate buttons to help him get better.

It’s just been stressful frankly so far with too much going on!  With Joel, I remember just sitting in the garden in the sunshine reading books.   This time my days to myself I was so looking forward to just haven’t happened what with one thing and another!!  I guess it’s good training for multi tasking with two children.

Here’s hoping I get to sleep a bit better tonight.

Argh!!

I don’t know what men think sometimes at all.   Or in fact, ever!  And they think we women are hard to work out.

Take this morning for example.

I woke at 4.30am with painful hips, ribs and pelvis.  I lay in bed until I just had to get up to ease the weight on my sides and went downstairs.   I was hungry so had some cereal and a cup of tea then worried that I hadn’t felt much baby movement over the past day.  I watched a few episodes of ‘The Good Wife’ to distract myself and try to monitor movement before feeling so tired again by 8am when I heard Joel up and about.  He’d been into Steve in bed who hadn’t woken up.  I got Steve up to sort Joel out and gave him clothes to dress Joel in, told him to sort breakfast and went back to bed.  I slept well and woke at 9.40.

Then I found Steve had done nothing all morning.  He’d laid on the sofa to doze some more, hadn’t dressed Joel, hadn’t tidied, hadn’t washed up or walked the dog (all things I would have normally done on getting up under regular circumstances).   He was due to manage the sound desk at church and had to be there for 10am but needed a shower.  By 9.40 he was in the shower and at 10.10am he left the house to go and set up the sound equipment for a service which begins at 10.30am and is meant to be having sound checks by 10.10!!!

His parting comment was ‘I refuse to rush on a Sunday’.   Well, had he actually got himself sorted when he first got up, there would be no rushing and as a result he was very rushed but just didn’t care.  I don’t get how he can’t see things that need doing.  I would love, just once to come downstairs after having had a lie in (which doesn’t happen all that often, but at the moment my sleep is so bad I’m being a lot more forceful about it!!) and find he’s sorted all the chores which are now waiting and looking at me 😦

The other issue is the baby movement.  I had another cup of tea and the heat of it seems to have caused some wiggling.  I noticed in the bath last night that my tummy was lurching to the right rather than the left and I was getting little brushy strokes on the left side so I wonder whether baby has moved down and twisted sides.  That would explain why things feel a bit different today.  As long as he’s not gone breech or turned back up i guess its all ok.   I will keep checking today though and call the delivery suite if I’m worried by lunchtime.  Right now I’m trying to rest and relax for a quiet morning whilst Steve has Joel at church.  No doubt he’ll be using me as an excuse as to why he’s late and add extra drama 😦

My other gripe about Steve stems from the argument over tiles we had at Christmas where he berated me over buying bathroom tiles.   I had the final bathroom invoice from the builders the day after I’d enjoyed my first bubble bath in our lovely bathroom and I was so relaxed and happy for one evening.  Plus my best friend from school who has been trying to get pregnant for over two years and has just had her first bout of ivf rang to tell me she was 13 weeks pregnant and it had worked first go which has a 33% chance of success!!!  I was over the moon for them!

Anyway, the bill came in and they’d added an extra £1400 to it!!!!  I opened the email and instantly felt sick.   Getting money out of Steve for house things is difficult enough and I just thought Steve would flip out and have a go at me about it.  He had a busy work day on Friday so I didn’t tell him straight away as I thought he’d be better off focusing on his new client and filming his awards ceremony that evening.   He had a good day and I had a privately stressy one wondering how we’d get the money, how they could add extra on like that without discussing it first, whether it was my fault, and pretty much feeling wretched all day.  Steve had really seemed to like these builders and had asked them for quotes on the garden jobs and widening our drive and rebuilding the wall and I saw these things disappearing away, never to be done as Steve seems to have to know who is doing the jobs and develop a sense of trust with them before being happy about paying them!!!

Anyway, Steve got back about midnight and I’d tried to sleep but just couldn’t switch off so sat up and waited for him to get in.  I had looked online and the law was totally on our side about it as they’d given us a written quote of £2498 for the job.  They’d even asked for an advance midway through so we’d paid them £1100 to help them out with their cash flow and I had the remaining £1400 ready to pay them on completion.   And at no point had they discussed adding that much to our bill, they hadn’t mentioned extra costs at all and I’d assumed because it was all specified individually in our quote it was covered under that.

I was terrified Steve would get crazy cross again and we’d fall out and it would be as bad as the tile argument at Christmas.  But for some reason I still can’t really fathom he was fine about it.  He said he’d call them up on Monday and discuss it with them.  He didn’t seem to mind whereas I was really cross with them and felt taken advantage of.  I guess he just put his business head on and negotiating is something he’s good at.  He told me off for stressing and asked why I was so upset over it.  How he can be ok over £1400 and flip out over £70 (when he doesn’t even know how much tiles cost and hadn’t measured the space requiring tiling) I don’t know.  (He still thinks he’s right over that argument whereas I know he’s totally wrong, but we’ve moved on!).

So I get to leave it to him to sort out.  I’m not so silly as to think there wouldn’t be hidden charges.  The builder fitted the door for us, and had to buy little bits here and there, so we were expected a couple of hundred more at least to the original quote.  That’s normal and to be expected, but £1400 is a lot of money we don’t have to hand and was a nasty surprise.

So that is where things are at.   I’m feeling very ‘argh’ about it all.   Baby worries, getting fed up being so heavy, not sleeping, being tired and grumpy and tearful all the time isn’t good.    Builders invoices.  House needs tidying and I have no energy or inclination to do anything about it.  I feel like being a hermit and don’t want to go out or see anyone.   As I missed church last week Mum got inundated with questions as to how I was, and I just don’t want to have to keep repeating myself that I’m weary and achey.  So it’s just easier to stay in.  Then I ache if I stand and ache if I sit, ache if I lie down.

The only positive is that during this typing baby is wiggling away again which is reassuring.  But right in my ribs again which is uncomfortable.

9 days until my due date.  Please make a move soon baby.  Please please please.   I want to feel back to myself again!!

Wee Small Hours…… Again…..

So here I am.

Again.  Just before 6am.

I’ve been awake since 4am but just lying in bed feeling as though baby is about to break out through my ribs.

Having got to 5am and no sign of sleep on the horizon at all I decided that I’d be better off using my time cleaning the kitchen so have done the washing up and cleaned the sides down.   There is also a basket of clean laundry eying me up which I could take upstairs and sort through, a few baby things that need hanging in the wardrobe.  But I don’t want to disturb Joel and Steve by pottering too much up there.   I do enjoy hanging baby things up though!!

The builders will be here in a couple of hours and I’ll head to my Mums for a nap I think.  I won’t make it through the day having got up this early.  I did have a little doze on the sofa yesterday whilst Steve and Joel were watching Planes on the TV.  I didn’t mean to.  I normally struggle to switch off from background noise like that but may have had 20 minutes!!!  Ooh, maybe we could make up the pram and change it back from buggy mode.   That would be useful!! And fun!  I’ve missed the pram!!

We had a nice morning with Joel loving the party.   It’s a relatively new place not too far away with a giant wooden climbing frame inside a warehouse.   I had thought it would be quiet being a Sunday morning but how wrong I was.  We couldn’t even park outside so Steve dropped Joel and I off by the doors and had to go further afield.  All Joel’s little nursery friends were there and he went straight off with Trudy to the 0-5 section which he could manage on his own.   But the older kids were in the bigger section and that had rope bridges and climbing nets and he needed Daddy to help him over those bits so I sat with Liz and we had drinks and laughed to see Steve staggering about carrying Joel and Trudy under one arm each to get them over the ropes!  It was a very pleasant way to spend the morning!  And we would certainly go again.  Joel had a good hour and half to run around and play before the lunch and he promptly burst into tears when called away to eat.   We went up to a little room where they’d laid out party food, chicken nuggets and chips, crisps, sandwiches, salad platter, pizza and sausage rolls.   Joel was a bit too tired to eat much at all and nibbled only cucumber and crisps.   He even struggled with his little pot of jelly for pudding.

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After lunch there was another 15 minutes left of party time so back they went to play some more.   And quite promptly once the two hours was up, an announcement was made over the tannoy that we had to vacate, so cue lots of upset and hyperactive toddlers who were only pacified by receiving a goody bag!!

Steve took Joel to the car whilst I said goodbyes, and by the time I got to the car Joel had already got into the goodybag to retrieve a chunk of chocolate cake which was smeared all over his face and hands.  I had thought he’d crash out in the car on the drive home but the extra sugar boost seemed to keep him going all afternoon as well!

Then we watched a film together, Joel went to do bouncing outside and we had an Indian for dinner at Steve’s request.   I think I will have to avoid Indian takeaways for the near future.  They just don’t agree with me at the moment!  I had a bhuna with boiled rice, so nothing too heavy but I think that’s to do with my stomach feeling a bit off during the night, never mind the poor baby being extra squished.

So this week I should hopefully get the house back to myself by Wednesday and Steve is rather busy with work and has asked that I keep the baby in until after Friday when he has a new client to film an awards ceremony for which he is already stressed about and having to rearrange cover if I go into labour will be very inconvenient for him.   Hmm.   What are the chances baby has heard that and will come on Friday.  I know I would if I were baby!!  Ha ha!!