The Wee Small Hours Again….

Here we are again at 5am.

I’m tired but can’t sleep so have come downstairs for a cup of tea.

I can feel baby pushing about down below and up high in my ribs like he’s trying to stretch.   Well, he hasn’t pushed enough to be a January baby yet!  Here we are on the 1st February so I can definitely say I will have a baby this month.

I have three days until my due date today.  And still no signs of anything.

That appointment with the consultant on Wednesday is getting closer.  And I don’t know what the outcome will be.   I didn’t want to be induced again.   I guess I have no faith that my body will react positively with it.  I don’t have a lovely birth experience to draw on to reassure me.  But do I really want another c-section?  The recovery from last time wasn’t great either.  I know natural births are the way to go, but if my body once again doesn’t start anything, what do I do?

I’m in a quandry and feeling stressed over my options.  I guess when it comes down to it, I need to do what is best for baby.   Steve seemed to be under the impression baby would be here one way or another by next weekend.  Which isn’t quite true as if on Wednesday they decide to leave me another week to see whether things happen of their own accord after my stretch and sweep it could take us to the 12th Feb.   This could be a Valentines baby.  He wants to be able to book work in, but doesn’t get I have no control over any of this and I’m certainly not going to  be booking a section to help his diary out if I don’t feel it’s in our best interests!!  The only reason we went with induction last time was that all his family were here and I was fed up with being so pregnant, and we took induction too lightly, and if we hadn’t, chances were baby would have arrived after they’d had to go home so I felt pressured to help him arrive sooner rather than later.

This time I guess I’m more inclined to wait but even that scares me!!

I guess its called labour for a reason.  Argh.   Women do it every day.  I can do this.  It’ll be ok.  Argh!!!

 

Braxton Hicks

I was a lady of leisure this morning!

I went to meet a friend for coffee, which is something I’ve never really done before!  Well, i say coffee, but it was hot chocolate as I don’t like coffee at all.  Whilst sitting there we chatted for nearly two hours and I started getting strange stomach pressures where I thought baby was pushing out and making my stomach tight.  My friend told me she thought that it was Braxton Hicks as she’d had the same with her second baby.

I have had these a bit recently and thought nothing of them but they seem to be stepping up a pace at the moment!

My whole stomach is tightening and I’m having to ‘breath’ it out as I’m not sure what else to do!!

If it’s a sign that baby is getting ready, I hope he holds off as we’ve lost the sink from the bathroom and it’s all freshly plastered today but still a good few days work to go!  Argh!!  I need that completing before baby arrives else I won’t be able to come back home.  I wonder if I could go to a luxury hotel for a few days if it weren’t done!!

Feeling Smug

Hello Blogland!

It’s been a while.  To be honest, I’ve been going through that crazy shattering tired spell you get in the first trimester, and feeling so nauseous blogging has been the last thing on my mind this past week.  I’ve been resting, watching season 2 of Smash and Hart of Dixie, drinking fizzy water and elderflower and trying to work out what I fancy eating (nothing actually 😦 everything is bleurgh at the moment).

And why do I feel smug?  Because Steve has been in a mood this evening due to the fact he couldn’t find a computer game he’d bought at the weekend and he wanted to play it.  I helped look, until he shouted at me for losing it (for which there is no evidence whatsoever), and he went off without it.  I then checked the blue recycle bin outside which he’d just filled up and there it was, caught up in some letters and newspapers.  So thus the smugness.  He had thrown it away himself.  HA!!

Anyway, I get an evening to myself which is good as I’m suffering another TMI early pregnancy symptom.  The good old windypops and although I’m normally pretty discreet, Steve took too much delight in embarrassing me over dinner telling me all about what I was doing last night in my sleep.  I mean, surely that doesn’t count?  If I’m asleep?

Joel has gone to bed well this evening which is the first evening in a long time where I’ve not had to sit on the foot of his bed and avoid eye contact.  Last night he woke twice and wouldn’t settle the second time, so ended up in our bed, then woke up when Steve went to his breakfast meeting so we’ve all been up since 5.45.  That could have something to do with Joel being more tired tonight I guess!  Anyway, I don’t know if he’s still settling into a new house, new bedroom, big boy bed or what, but he really doesn’t like going to sleep on his own at the moment.

He’s so lovely though, despite the naughtiness which is emerging.  He knows when he’s doing something he shouldn’t.  He gets a look in his eye, and a ‘naughty’ face on.  I say no, and he tries to do it three times before I stop him.  I haven’t smacked him, and I don’t want to resort to it, but I’m at a bit of a loss how to discipline him any other way.  We have tried the naughty step, and that only works if we confiscate his noonie as well, but he was beginning to put himself on the step which was undermining our authority.

But on the whole, he’s a happy chappy who is confident, enjoys life and is getting very good at talking.

And the house.  Well, we bought carpets for the lounge and master bedroom.  They’re due to be fitted on Tuesday, which unfortunately is the same day our plasterer wants to come back to do the ceilings, so I’m trying to reschedule.  I think I’ve persuaded Steve that we should go with a bathroom quote we had for £2495 and maybe book them for next month.  And once the ceilings are plastered and painted white, I will use lining paper in the dining room and get that one sorted.

I think I’ve been feeling unsettled myself as I still don’t feel that it’s my home.  I miss my old house and the fact I had all my things about.  Most of my stuff is still in storage as we’ve not unpacked anything really.  I need some shelves and a coffee table in the lounge to put my pictures on.  I can’t wait to get a new floor for the hall.  I know it won’t likely all be done by Christmas, but if the dining room and our bedroom can be sorted that would be something.  And we’ll need the back bedroom to be a nursery by February if all goes well.  It’ll be nice to have the cot set up again, and my rocking chair, and changing unit.

There’s just such a lot to sort in the meantime.  And money is an issue now.  But we knew it would be, so one room at a time was the mantra.

We’re going away tomorrow for a few days in Devon at Steve’s parents, so I’m hoping the nausea will calm down.  I can’t remember feeling this rough with Joel so am wondering whether it could be a girl?  And we head back on Monday, to my midwife appointment (again) and another scan on the Friday.  Trying not to think about it  too much.

And that is sort of where I am at the moment.

Symptoms

I’m really tired at the moment.  And nauseous all the time.  I find nibbling helps keep the nausea at bay but nothing is really helping the tiredness!  I’m going to bed early every night, and trying to nap when I can, (which is only on a Monday really) but with getting up twice a night to wee I’m feeling the strain.

Today I had my weetabix for breakfast.  I’m drinking a lot of milk.  We had tomato soup and crusty bread for lunch, with some mature cheddar as well ginger cake and grapes.  Then this afternoon I felt sick again and ate a plate of cheese and crackers before having sausages for tea.  The diet has well and truly gone now.

I keep getting little sicky burps which don’t help matters and my trousers are beginning to feel tight.  My pyjama bottoms were digging in last night and I had to keep adjusting the waistband.  I’m also feeling cold all the time but I think that’s overtiredness.

Joel is being a good boy at the moment.  He’s good at pottering about and entertaining himself most of the time.  I can sit and rest for a bit and just ask him for snacks and drinks and he goes off to his playsets and brings me fake tea and play toast!  

We made it to his toddler group this morning.  We were a bit late having nipped to Asda for some shopping beforehand.  As we live a bit further away we can’t just nip in the same manner we used to, so I didn’t want to drive out again this afternoon.  He played relatively nicely and only got a bit monkeyish at the end of the songs.  He did sleeping bunnies very nicely today!

Day of Worries

I’ve had a lot on my mind today.

Our dog has eaten something horrid, had a terrible tummy all weekend and we found some of her ‘liquid presents’ had blood in so got her to the vets this morning.  She’s not been too bad today after a 24 hour fast but I couldn’t sleep well last night and I heard her whining at 2.30am so let her out and took her down the garden where I heard her trump and splat for a little while 😦  Poor thing.

Anyway, I think she’s on the mend now, and I’ve been looking after and cooking her boiled chicken, rice and scrambled egg to introduce bland food to her system.  She’s also got antibiotics for the stomach infection and some meat paste with charcoal in to settle her tummy.   She’s been very sorry for herself and hasn’t even wanted to go for walks or play ball so you know she’s been feeling bad.  I hope she’s learnt her lesson but somehow I doubt it.

Then this morning I felt odd with a dull ache low in my pelvis.  To be honest, it felt like it did when I miscarried in April.  I’d had a day of feeling achey so to feel that again has stressed me out.  I remember twingy pains with Joel but ache means bad for me now.

I called the Doctor to ask if I could go in for a scan today.  Then I decided I wasn’t feeling so achey anymore, and then got a letter to say I had an early scan booked for Friday.  So I called back to say I wouldn’t hassle for a scan today and would wait for Friday.

So Friday morning I have a scan which could be good or terrible news and in the afternoon I’m meant to be going on our Church weekend away.  I really hope and pray that its good news else I’ll be a wreck all weekend.  Three days of work and then a scan.  Work will help occupy me and take my mind of it all as it’s very busy but I doubt I’ll sleep well this week.

So Tired…..

I don’t know whether it’s because I’ve not had any caffeine today or whether it’s just pregnancy tiredness taking a firm hold of me, but today has been sooooo difficult!!  I was tired when I woke and throughout the day have felt worse and worse!

Then this morning my mum text me to say a cousin had had their baby girl at 7am this morning, and they’d called her the name which was top of mine and Steve’s list!!  😦  None of the extended family know we’re even expecting, but a bit of me felt very gutted that the name has been used already.  Steve says we should use it anyway, but I don’t think I could.  I know we don’t see them that often, but it would be strange.  It is a shame as we only seem to agree on girls names.  Mind you, the chances of this one being a girl are I think, rather slim!

I left work at 4pm and got home and in bed by 4.15!!  I then slept until Steve and Joel got in at 5.30.  I had a bit of pizza for tea with Joel, and melon for pudding as Steve is  out tonight, and put Joel to bed at 7.  It is now nearly 8.30 and I’ve tidied Joel’s toys away, sorted a load of washing, put another on to wash, and am ready for bed.

I remember feeling very tired with Joel and having to take an afternoon off just to nap, and maybe this is the same thing?

With the caffeine thing, I’ve realised I’ve not really cut back.  I dont’ drink coffee or cola as a rule, and I just tend to have a couple of cups of tea a day, one in the morning, and one in an afternoon.  But with a chocolate bar that could be taking me over the recommended 200mg a day, so as of today, I’m cutting back.  I’ve only drunk redbush tea today and I guess that could be adding to my tiredness!!

At least I’ve remembered my vitamins and folic acid the past few days!!  I’m not very good at remembering to take tablets!

10 Weeks

Well, I’ve made it to double figures so that’s something!

And how am I feeling?  Too fine to be honest.  I have stopped feeling sick, I’m not so tired anymore, and I feel quite normal.   I’m hungry a lot, (but that’s nothing new) and I sort of wish I did have some proper symptoms that I consider ‘healthy’ in pregnancy.

The only thing is that I have a bump.  Still growing, and if I suck it in it’s still there which I’ve read means it’s not just bloat.  It’s a neat round bump (except for my saggy c-section scar bit which I hate) and feels rather prominent and I’m having to hide it at work.

I’ve taken to wearing stretchy black maternity trousers, a tight black vest and a looser shirt over the top.  I’m sure people must think something as I’ve really thickened out around my waist.

I saw the midwife yesterday after a week of waiting!!  And she was lovely.  We had the booking in appointment with all the questions about health and lifestyle etc…   I do hope that I get to go back to Stafford hospital.  The care I had there was brilliant and the staff were lovely.  It would really be a huge shame if the maternity ward got closed down.  She assured me they should be open for November.  November 20th!  It isn’t all that far away really.

She wouldn’t do a doppler test on me as she said if she couldn’t find a heart beat she wouldn’t be allowed to send me for an early scan and it’s still very early to find a heart beat that way.  I was expecting that answer.  But she did say she’d make sure I got my scan before we go on holiday (the ideal scan date is 12 weeks 6 days) and that’s the day we fly!!  So I should hear in the next couple of weeks and get a date to be scanned to know if baby has a heartbeat.  I really, really hope so.