The Most Tired I Have Ever Been…..

Josiah has been a bit poorly.  It’s his first ever lurgy bug and could explain why he’s been so unsettled at night, that plus teething, plus weaning.  It’s a tough time for him.  And me.

We had our weekend with the in-laws last weekend.  As much as we enjoy a weekend in Devon I do not enjoy the packing of stuff, the long car journey and the constant traffic jams around Birmingham and Bristol.  Going down took an extra two hours than normal.  Coming back was wretched.  Josiah cried from Exeter to Gloucester.  We stopped three times.  He was not hungry, his nappy was fine, he was objecting loudly to being trapped in his car seat and by Gloucester he had a raging temperature.  I dosed him with Calpol and Steve walked him round the new services station at J11 on the M5.  By the time he was back in the car he was sound asleep within minutes and the final hour of the journey was peaceful and we transferred both boys over to their beds.  I was up then three times in the night with Josiah and at 6am with Joel, whilst Steve headed off at 4.30am to film all day in Oxford.

We are one tired and grouchy family this week.

Anyway, Josiah didn’t seem to be getting better so on Tuesday morning after another bad night where I struggled with his temperature I took him to the Dr’s.  She said he was getting a chest infection and prescribed antibiotics.  The next day he was almost worse and now he had an upset tummy.  After three cot sheet changes due to explosive diarrhoea nappies and his temperature shooting up again I panicked and rushed him back to the doctors.  We saw a different one who said it wasn’t a chest infection so to stop the medicine as it was upsetting him, to keep on with the calpol and as it was just viral, it should peter out in a few days.

That night I settled him and popped next door to drink wine with my neighbour.  She has two boys of similar ages and is having a tough time with their youngest being seriously poorly so whatever I’m going through its ten times worse for her.  When I went home at 10pm I found my youngest sitting next to Daddy, looking seriously awake and waving the remote control around.  He had no temperature and was suddenly feeling much better and wanted to make up for the extra sleepy times he’d had over the past four days.

So we sat up till midnight playing with all his toys.  And he was sitting!!  Although the remote control seems to be his new favourite.  And he always manages to mute the tv somehow.

Since being on maternity I have worked my way through Buffy the Vampire Slayer series 1-7, and The American Office series 1-9 so I feel a bit sad they have ended now.  Steve still wants me to watch Breaking Bad but he’s watched it all three times and watches me watching things which is ever so annoying.  I’ve watched a few episodes of Arrow which I like.  But I guess I have achieved my tv watching goal!  With Joel I watched all of Desperate Housewives.

Anyway, I have now got to do the school run.  Steve is asleep in bed, as is Josiah so I may leave them too it and just walk Joel round.  Life feels like a mad rush at the moment.  I’m hoping it will settle down very soon.

Dr Dr

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So on Tuesday as my parents were busy I had both boys for the day.   I wanted to get Joel’s feet measured as his size 6’s were feeling a bit on the small side so I decided it was time to tackle town with two on my own!!  Then we had to go to clinic with Josiah and get him checked over by a Dr.

So we went along to toddlers in the morning, had some lunch and Joel was getting a bit bored and floppy so we decided to load the car up and head off.  We parked at Tesco and walked along to Clarks for shoes.  He had indeed grown to a size 7 so we chose a new pair which he wore straight away and we headed to clinic.  There was a huge queue of people so as it was a sunny day we headed to the park for half an hour to let the rush die down a bit.  Joel was the only one in it, and we went on the see-saw, the swings, he had a bounce, a run around and a climb and then we headed to see the birds in the aivary before heading back to the clinic.

As I wasn’t getting Joss weighed the HV just put us down to see the Dr, but we still had quite a wait and it was very hot in the waiting room.  Joel was getting tired and Josiah woke up and wanted a feed.  I was up a corner and trying to be as discreet as possible (I don’t expose myself at all!) but I still got some looks from older ladies, or so I thought.  Maybe I was being paranoid.  Anyway, Josiah then pushed a poop through so we all went to the loo to do a nappy change and on getting back we were called through to the Dr.

I’d saved the nappy for him, and he took a sample to send for testing.  He just said it sometimes happens and not to worry, to keep doing what I’m doing and it may resolve itself, it may not.  It’s just too much bile coming through but if he’s not ill in other means, then it happens.  He also told me to keep oiling Joss’s head for the cradle cap and prescribed us more eye drops for the sticky eye.

We walked back to Tesco, and Joel then complained his foot was hurting with his new shoe.  On closer inspection, yes, on the the tongue there is a hard lump which presses onto the top of his foot, sort of where the stitching is too bulky, so I’ll be taking them back as faulty and hopefully exchanging them.  I don’t want to spend that much money on shoes for him for him to not be able to wear them!!  (I could buy at least two pairs for what his cost!!)

Then this is where I was a bit over ambitious.  We had nothing prepared for dinner so I thought I’d risk going into Tesco to buy a pizza for dinner.   But it was too much, Josiah began to cry, Joel was pickley and I was stressed.  By the time I’d grabbed a pizza and some salad bits and got to the tills I was the exasperated mother looking pink and sweaty with hair falling about me in a wild manner!  Joel asked for his noonie and said he’d dropped it somewhere.  Josiah was getting louder so I said ‘noonie has gone.  We’ll find another at home’ and feeling like a terrible mother stuck Joel on the buggy board and whisked them both back to the car crying!  I was intending to ring Tesco to ask whether anyone had found a scroggy little white comfort blanket later when it turned out he hadn’t dropped it at all, it was under the pram but had been quite willing to leave it and get home.

Both boys then fell asleep in the car on the drive home, Josiah only after a massive cry where I couldn’t do anything being stuck in traffic 😦

After pizza I got Joel into bed and he started to cough.  He’d been fine all afternoon, and whilst at the Dr’s (why can’t illnesses take place when convenient, like in the Dr surgery!) and was up in the night a bit.   He seemed ok for nursery but was very floppy last night on getting home and cried at the dinner table to go to bed early.  He slept from 6pm until 11.30pm, then had cuddles with me and stories until 12.30 and slept till 6am.   He’s currently home from nursery as he had a temperature and a funny tummy, (he really seems to suffer with snot and mucas when he has a cold) and is fast asleep on the sofa.

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My Mum is coming round this afternoon so I may get chance for a nap then.  I should of course be napping now but know the second I close my eyes Joss will wake so I’m powering through at the moment!  Despite feeling the sleep deprivation today.  And Joss is still doing well with his 5 hours but it’s the Joel being up which is making me tired at the moment.  And I went to bed at 8pm last night!  Yawn!

Oh, and Josiah had two normal coloured nappies yesterday afternoon, but went back to green overnight and they’re green again today.  Very strange.  I will wait to see what the test results say with interest!  We’re seeing the same Dr next week for his 8 week jabs so hopefully we’ll get some more information then if not before 🙂

Oh What A Night….. And Day…..

With 5 days to go to my due date I sort of feel as though I’ve not been able to fully relax on maternity leave yet.  With having the builders in I’ve not had my house to myself for the duration, and now they’ve completed and we’re having the issues over the extra money they want that is stressing me out.

This morning I received news that where I work are closing the campus and relocating to Stoke.   Admittedly its only 30 minutes away but it’s a nightmare of a journey and there will be redundancies before that happens anyway.   Pretty much we’ve known all admin will be restructured for this September so we’ll be culled before the move, but to think our town is losing its Uni campus is a blow as well.   I’ve been working there for 13 years and have really liked it.  It was a great place to work.

When I went off for maternity with Joel I knew I’d be going back there and what I’d be doing and now I’m facing a very uncertain future.  We don’t know whether the nursery on site will be sold off, so where this baby will go I’m not sure, I wanted him to go there too as it’s been so good for Joel.   I don’t know if I’ll even have a job and if I did get one of the new posts, what I’d be doing and whether I could remain part time.  I don’t like feeling so out of control of my future.

On Tuesday Joel came down with a little cough.  He went to nursery yesterday and was happy enough, but still coughing but last night was awful.   He got a very high fever, woke every couple of hours so I was up and down with him, trying to remember when he last had Calpol or Ibuprofen, giving him water, cuddles, stories and at 5am he finally seemed to fall into a proper sleep and his temperature came down.   But he fell asleep in my bed so I was evicted to the spare room!  Part of me thought that as Steve had said he’d be on Joel duty for the morning I’d get to lie in a bit but at 8.15am I heard Joel crying so went in to see what was going on and Joel was sat next to Steve in bed, crying as Daddy wouldn’t wake up.  I was cross to say the least.  I woke Steve up and told him I’d had about two hours sleep, and how could he ignore Joel crying next to him in bed!  He has to learn to hear him and not zone him out.   It’s worrying that this will happen after regular nights of no sleep with a new born and I’ll have to depend more on my parents than my husband for nap times which I think is wrong and letting Steve get away with his responsibilities.

Anyway, Joel was not well all day and I got him into the Doctors for 11.30.   We got to the surgery and after waiting ages (you can tell when he’s properly ill as he sits quietly on my knee) we saw the doctor to be told that he’s got a chest infection.  He seems to come down with these things so fast.   So we’ve got antibiotics and chocolate buttons to help him get better.

It’s just been stressful frankly so far with too much going on!  With Joel, I remember just sitting in the garden in the sunshine reading books.   This time my days to myself I was so looking forward to just haven’t happened what with one thing and another!!  I guess it’s good training for multi tasking with two children.

Here’s hoping I get to sleep a bit better tonight.

Coughs and Husbands

I’ve been asthmatic for a few years now.  It all began when I got really bad bronchitis, was off work for a few weeks and was really poorly.  Since then I just seem to get chest infections and need inhalers when the weather gets cold.  I’m fine during the summer, but need a steroid inhaler to strengthen my lungs and a reliever for when I get too wheezy.

So I do feel justified in being signed off work this week with another chest infection.  I know from experience that going into work and not resting only exacerbates the issues and results in me needing longer off work.

Being married to someone who doesn’t believe in getting ill 95% of the time (and is a terrible patient the other 5%) does get a bit wearing!  Especially at the moment as he has a little cough and keeps saying things like “maybe others have got this illness ‘we’ve’ got”.  I think to myself, he is not a pregnant asthmatic with a chest infection and a pulled stomach muscle.  He cannot count his little tickly cough with my lung wrenching painful stomach cramping cough.  He can’t way ‘We’ as he doesn’t have what I have!  He can’t take away my illness from me!!

I’ve had a lovely couple of days at home though. I’ve had the heating on, snuggled under a fleecy blanket, drunk hot blackcurrant squash, finished watching Nashville season 1 (oh my, it’s engaging!!) and napped every afternoon till about 3pm.  It really is what the doctor ordered.

Today I did a bit of online shopping (hurray for pay day) and have some wall stickers arriving for the nursery tomorrow so hopefully I’ll get them put up and can then show my photos off!!  I’ve also bought a birthing ball.  This baby is still sideways and I want to start sitting and bouncing to encourage him into place.  I did have one for when expecting Joel but Steve seems to think he may have binned it.  Or something.  Goodness knows.

A lady from church put this picture on my facebook page today asking where the other two were hiding:



I am looking rather all out there with the bump at the moment but am not prepared for more than one.  Steve said if there were more than one in there he’d ask for his money back.  I said ‘what money?!  what have you paid for?!’ as it’s not as though you pay the NHS for a scan!!  And we’ve had enough scans to be assured there is only one.  I’m just a short person and the only way is out for this baby.  It would be nice though if there were two and I could send Steve for a vasectomy!!  It’s funny as he always said he wouldn’t have one and I would need my tubes tied.  I’ve always maintained it’s easier for the man to get the snip and I wouldn’t contemplate having it done.  Anyway, I’ve always thought three was a good number.  But suddenly Steve is saying two is the end.  I don’t know.  I will wait to see how I feel in a years time and whether I could even cope with another pregnancy.  It’s harder this time than last I think.  Before we married he wanted four!!

The bump is getting very tight and itchy now.  I’m using Palmers cocoa butter lotion to try to soothe it down but I think this is where the skin’s elasticity goes to the point of no return.  I’m expecting stretch marks to start pinging their way along any time soon 😦



And I saw this today and though how very true.  Steve sleeps through anything.  Comes to bed late after going out to watch TV shows with his friend, gets up late and goes straight to work whilst I’m up in the night seeing to Joel if he wakes, getting him sorted in the morning, dealing with trying to dress a toddler who does not want to take his pyjamas off  (“Mummy, I need my pyjamas on”) and going out in the cold to get him to nursery in time for breakfast.  Whilst I’m meant to be signed off work.    It’s all right for some isn’t it.  And it normally seems to be better for the husbands.  Steve thinks I’m too controlling at times and things have to be done my way.  Maybe he’s right.  I don’t really trust him to do things right when it comes to Joel but that’s because the times he’s been left in charge, he’s not got to nursery in time for breakfast so has gone without until snack time!!

I think he knows that he has to up his game when this baby arrives and he can’t laze in bed and go to his office with 15 minutes to spare.  He will have to get up and dress Joel and sort things for nursery.  He can’t expect me to do night feeds and be up in a morning.  It will be interesting to say the least and I anticipate some blazing rows ahead.  But hopefully we’ll adjust and be a good team again.  Ooh-er 😦

Chills and Sniffles

Am I still grumpy?  Not so much today.

Am I still tired?  Yes!   I am still not sleeping with waking up through the night for toilet trips, turning over in bed and now I have a wretched cough which has caused me to pull a stomach muscle so coughing is not only annoying for my throat, but is agony for my side as well.  It’s worrying thinking about baby in there, but I can feel him moving about so he is fine but I feel as though I can only cough clutching my side in an effort to hold things in place to alleviate the stabbing pains 😦

I’m glad I’ve not been at work this week although I’m not sure I will be fit for work next week either at this rate!  I did go to the doctor yesterday who said I had a bit of a temperature and my ears were inflamed but not enough for antibiotics and to go back Monday if I wasn’t feeling better.  She also gave me some syrup for my cough which is ok for pregnancy.  Whether it will help or not I don’t know.

I will certainly attempt to nap today and put Joel down for a sleep.  As it’s Friday he can stay up a bit later if he wants to and hopefully see Steve who hasn’t been getting in till after 10pm every night as he’s working so many hours at the moment.

And I’ll keep sipping my hot water, lemon and honey!!  And taking paracetamol for all the good that it’s not doing 😦  *sigh*

Oh, and in other news, Joel has been dry in the day since one accident on Sunday, and that was after a dry weekend too, so one accident in 8 days is great!!  He’s been taking himself to sit on his potty when he needs to go.  At his toddler group on Tuesday my Mum told me he kept pulling his trousers and pants down where he was playing then waddling like a penguin to where the potty was!!  He doesn’t realise its quicker to run there with trousers up and pull down ready to sit down!!  But at least he’s sensing the signals!!


Here We Go……

It’s finally happened.  After months of feeling very pleased with myself for keeping healthy I have come down with not only the sniffles, but a nasty cough and a cold 😦  I’m feeling a bit rough today and have to go into work if only to sort some free equipment for Church which the Faculty are gifting us as it’s not going to be used elsewhere!!!

Anyway, it’s been a funny few days with Joel out of nappies and in his big boy pants.  We had a couple of days at home with lots of wees in pottys success, and then on Tuesday he went to Grandma’s and wee’d in her potty too, so success.  Then they took him Nottingham to play with cousin Martha where he pooed his pants (to be expected I guess) and had an accident during lunchtime as my parents didn’t notice he was squirming and holding himself 😦  That one was a shame as he could have made it but he was too shy to say at a strange house.  Plus he seemed to be a bit not himself by the afternoon and was coming down with something so had a dose of calpol before bed.

Anyway, I chatted to his nursery key person and she said to send him in pants to nursery yesterday which I did and I showed him the kiddie toilets and the potty which he could use, we sang our wee wee in the potty song and he seemed a bit unsure but I thought we’d see how things went.

Meanwhile, I was feeling a sore throat coming on, I was sneezing for England, and starting to feel a bit grotty in my head.  As was Steve.

So yesterday at 3.30pm I rang the nursery to see how he was getting on as you don’t always get enough time to talk when picking up, and was astounded that she said he had held his wee all day long.  Since dropping him off at 8.20 he had not wee’d.  Not even during his nap when they’d put a nappy on him.  That was no wee in over 7 hours.  She said it showed impressive bladder control but wasn’t what they wanted either!!!  He’d also not been feeling too well, so had used his two Calpol doses up which had helped.

I decided to finish work a bit early to take him home and when I got there they were having a wedding party tea as one of the ladies was getting married so they were all dressed up.  Joel looked at me and grinned, and shouted ‘hello Mummy!  I did a big wee!!  Look, we’re having a party’!!  I asked if he’d made it to a potty, and the answer was no, but at least he had done a wee even if it was in his pants!!

The other issue we’ve had this week is that the dog has not been well.  Whether she had eaten something horrid on Sunday afternoon once Steve and his Mum decided to let her loose on the canal side I don’t know, could it have been from canal water?  I do think of canals as rather dirty and unhygienic.  Anyway, Monday evening she began with a bad upset stomach.  And hadn’t asked to go outside.  She just slunk into the dining room (thank goodness the carpet will going very soon) and made a big mess which Steve had to sort out.  And again that night.  And the next day.  So I was a bit worried as to what I’d find on getting in with Joel in pants and it all got crazy.  Izzy was missing to start with.  On getting home that distracted me enough to not sit Joel on the potty as I was ringing Steve and my parents to see whether they’d got her.  The answer was no.  Joel then went to play and did a huge wee and poo in his pants.  Drat.   Izzy was located shut upstairs, as Steve had obviously not noticed her follow him up after walking her and then shut the gates keeping her where she is not meant to go.  She slept on our bed (urgh) and then had an accident in the back room which demonstrated to me that she had another stomach infection.


Woof, sorry Mum!!

I rang my Dad to come and sit with Joel for 30 minutes and took Izzy to the vet who confirmed it.  One £50 vets bill later, she’s on anti-biotics, got some nasty coal stuff to settle her tummy, needed an injection and I have to cook her plain white rice, boiled chicken and scrambled egg!!  She is never being allowed off the lead unsupervised again!!  It’s just not worth it.  And certainly not in her best interests.

So I had a messy Joel to clean up, and a gross dog mess to sort out, a vets to visit all whilst starting to feel really ill.  Not a good day.

Thank goodness that Thursday is my Friday and I can stay in tomorrow to rest up.  Well, at least as much as one can rest with a toddler in pants!!


‘Bang’ seems to mean a few things to Joel at the moment.

It’s a noise, an action, and also means pain.

Yesterday was a nightmare.  It began well enough.  We went to church, Joel helped set up and Steve recorded him singing ‘Wind The Bobbin Up’ into a microphone!  All very cute.

It happened after church.  It was due to be a nice day.  We wanted to go to the new house and get on with clearing and scraping as Steve hadn’t been since we got the keys as he’s ridiculously busy at the moment.

We had lamb chops at home for lunch all ready to cook, but we decided to stay at church for lunch as it would mean we could get to the new house faster.  I nipped home to get my working clothes and when I got back Steve was holding a sobbing Joel and looking crazy stressed.  He thought Joel had broken his wrist!  I said I doubted it, but Steve insisted something was the matter.  He’d been holding Joel’s hand outside on the carpark (as we do becaus when cars are around he isn’t allowed to roam free) and he was grumpy about it.  He’d had a tantrum and flopped his legs but rather than let go so he fell, Steve had pulled his hand and dropped him onto grass instead thinking he was helping.  Joel wouldn’t let anyone near it and it hung helplessly against his side.  You could see his fingers moving, but he kept whimpering and crying and sobbing ‘bang, Joel bang’.

After two hours in A&E and (again, just 4 weeks after the ERPC), numerous (very painful) x-rays for Joel, they told us he had a pulled elbow (like a dislocation) and the Dr pinched it back together again very suddenly.  We were in a cubicle, Joel’s face was grubby from all the tears, I was frazzled and Steve was stressed, and he didn’t say anything, he just reached out and put his arm back together.  Joel cried and yelled and screamed, then stopped.  It was that fast.  The pain he must have been in just went.  He remembered it though, and wanted Mummy to carry him and he cuddled in and rested his head on my shoulder.

Steve was feeling so guilty he took Joel to Asda (whilst I got baby ibuprofen for any pain) and let him choose sweets.  Joel always goes for biggest so where I would have allowed a bag of buttons or tube of smarties, Steve got him a share bag of Mars Planets!!  And Joel doesn’t share.  I had to distract him to take them away as a 2 year old cannot eat that much chocolate and still want dinner.

He then also fell out of his bed last night and woke crying at 2.30 ‘bang Mama, bang’.  Poor baby.  He’s not had a good day.  Let’s hope this Bank Holiday is better for him.

Chest Worries

I’m worrying again about Joel’s health.

He’s been having his inhalers regularly as per doctor’s orders, but it doesn’t seem to be making much difference.  He seems to be fine for a little while after he’s had steroid tablets, but it soon builds up and he develops a terrible wheeze.  Last weekend he developed a runny nose which was clear, but this week he’s got nasty thick green snot and a wheeze on his chest again.  He has been tired this morning and felt hot and clammy.  He went for a nap earlier than normal with a dose of calpol and he’s going to the doctors again this afternoon.   

He came down with his terrible chest resulting in a stay in hospital so very quickly I would hate for it to happen again.  And it was similar to last time when he got a cold and his nose got nastier and nastier.

And at the back of my mind is that there must be a bigger issue.  And we’re going to ask for him to be allergy tested as we’re worrying that he’s actually getting ill from our dog living with us.

If it is the case that he’s allergic to her and she’s causing his breathing issues we’d have no option but to rehome her, and that’s a bit devastating as she’s part of our family and has been with us for three years.  Luckily, Steve’s mum would (we think) be prepared to have her so we would be able to still see her monthly.

Anyway, that’s something that’s preying on our minds but we’ll see what the Dr says this afternoon.

And The Dr Said…..

It was worth going back to see the doctor yesterday.  I feel I’ve seen far more of the doctors this winter than ever before and there’s hardly been a week when I’ve not had to take myself or Joel.

But I was glad I went.  My sinis infection has cleared up, but it’s left my upper head very mucky.  And my deaf ear isn’t another infection, it’s glue ear.  Something the dr told me is quite common in toddlers!!  Great.  I get kiddie illnesses now too.

And my chest is very wheezy due to my asthma and I’ve had to go onto proper steroid inhalers.  My little blue puffers aren’t cutting the mustard anymore.  I blame the cold weather.  My asthma isn’t something that affects me during warmer months at all, and since I only developed it after getting a serious chest infection in my twenties, I have to say I don’t really count it as proper asthma.  Maybe I should.

It’s why I get so many chest infections, sinus things, respiratory things.

So anyway, I’m not on steroid nose sprays to try and clear the glue ear and my sinuses of muck, and steroid inhalers to help the horrid crackling I get when breathing which induces days of dry coughing.

Joel seems back to normal as well now which is good.  We’re on the same inhalers, but mine is a stronger dose.  Oh, and I have a ventilation tube for it as well now so we can sit and puff our steroids together!!

I am so fed up of this cold weather now it’s ridiculous.  A bit of warm sunshine would just help me out such a lot at the moment!

One Quiet Week

It’s been a bit of a boring week to be honest.

With no Joel around, I’ve had three days on my own and i’ve been lethargic and lazy.  I have done a few laundry loads admittedly, but other than that, I’ve dozed and sat around and have not been out anywhere.  I did get the E111 insurance cards ordered for us all to go abroad with.  The only thing remaining is the last payment for the apartment and packing!!

Joel loved going to nursery this week, I think he missed it.  Steve dropped him off and collected him, and said that he went running in shouting Trudy’s name and going to say hello to all his little friends! He did seem to get tired from it though, and has gone to bed before 7pm both nights.  He’s been eating quite well again as well which is reassuring as he lost his little pot belly over the past couple of weeks!

My sinusitis feels as though it’s on its way out, but my right eardrum is feeling hot and bulging again like it did before!!  So I’m wondering whether my infection has just moved location.  Either way, I may well be back at the Dr’s tomorrow as I need to be fit and well again.  I’ve got too much on for this lethargy to be dragging on any longer.

Maybe I’ll try to get out to the park with Joel tomorrow.   Some fresh air would be nice and might perk me up.