The Wee Small Hours Again….

Here we are again at 5am.

I’m tired but can’t sleep so have come downstairs for a cup of tea.

I can feel baby pushing about down below and up high in my ribs like he’s trying to stretch.   Well, he hasn’t pushed enough to be a January baby yet!  Here we are on the 1st February so I can definitely say I will have a baby this month.

I have three days until my due date today.  And still no signs of anything.

That appointment with the consultant on Wednesday is getting closer.  And I don’t know what the outcome will be.   I didn’t want to be induced again.   I guess I have no faith that my body will react positively with it.  I don’t have a lovely birth experience to draw on to reassure me.  But do I really want another c-section?  The recovery from last time wasn’t great either.  I know natural births are the way to go, but if my body once again doesn’t start anything, what do I do?

I’m in a quandry and feeling stressed over my options.  I guess when it comes down to it, I need to do what is best for baby.   Steve seemed to be under the impression baby would be here one way or another by next weekend.  Which isn’t quite true as if on Wednesday they decide to leave me another week to see whether things happen of their own accord after my stretch and sweep it could take us to the 12th Feb.   This could be a Valentines baby.  He wants to be able to book work in, but doesn’t get I have no control over any of this and I’m certainly not going to  be booking a section to help his diary out if I don’t feel it’s in our best interests!!  The only reason we went with induction last time was that all his family were here and I was fed up with being so pregnant, and we took induction too lightly, and if we hadn’t, chances were baby would have arrived after they’d had to go home so I felt pressured to help him arrive sooner rather than later.

This time I guess I’m more inclined to wait but even that scares me!!

I guess its called labour for a reason.  Argh.   Women do it every day.  I can do this.  It’ll be ok.  Argh!!!

 

Bigger Pants

Sitting in the car yesterday I felt as though I was losing my blood supply around my middle.

I realised that my knickers were killing me!!  They didn’t seem to have any give in them.  Sorry for too much information, but with Joel I suffered with thrush a lot and this time have been very careful with only using cotton and not too much bubble bath etc and it’s worked as I’ve not had any at all this time.  But it meant my pants are pretty rigid and don’t have any lycra in!!

I managed to rip the elastic at the top to help me sit comfortably and have had to go and buy bigger ones.   i just wanted to rip all my clothes off to be honest!!  And this bigger size?! Man, are they comfy!!  They are cotton with a bit of lycra and lace.  I don’t like having to go up a size but I guess it had to happen.   Hips and bottom is where the extra fat goes to store up for breastfeeding so I shall keep telling myself that.

I feel as though I am pregnant in my bum as well as my middle now.

 

Baring the Bump

For those of a weak disposition look away now!!

At 35 weeks this bump is pretty huge and stretchy.

Here it is in clothes:

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And ‘duh duh duh’….. in bare flesh…  you can sort of see the new stretch marks across the top and the silvery lines I gained from carrying Joel.  I also feel that it’s not staying on the under ledge anymore, and the bump is starting to sag over a bit.  That’s what caused my very saggy bit on my tummy after Joel, the skin just couldn’t repair back to normal, so we’ll have to see whether my post natal girdle helps suck things back into place this time, or whether only a tummy tuck can fix it!!  Whether I’d go for that I don’t know.  I don’t like the idea of unnecessary surgery.

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And just because it’s really weird, my completely turned inside out, flat tummy button, although today its a bit of an outy so I guess baby is pushing up behind it more than normal….

 

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I can’t believe I still have potentially 5 more cm to grow until full term!!  I very much doubt this baby will be in the 7lb range like Joel was!!

 

Bump Pic and Party

So here are my bump pics from Tuesday:

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Feet, feet, where fore art thou feet?!

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And on Tuesday Steve asked me whether he had anything suitable to wear to a black tie event.  Apparently he’d had an invite for us to attend a charity function on Friday night!!  I had to laugh.  This is very Steve, all last minute and not a clue about anything.

So I told him that he did not have anything suitable for black tie.  He obviously thought a regular suit with an actual black tie was all that was required.  I don’t know how he can know so little about these sorts of things!!  So after we went to the funeral on Wednesday we headed into town to try and rent him a suit for Friday to be told these things weren’t kept in stock and needed ordering weeks in advance!  But to rent a suit was about £70 and to buy one in their sale was currently £75.  So we bought him a suit, the dress shirt, a bow tie and a new pair of shoes which are considerably smarter than anything else he has ever owned!!  I guess these sort of invites will continue to come in as he’s mixing in these business circles.

What other ‘Steveisms’ can I regale you with?  We had a little dispute when I enquired where his cufflinks might be.  He said he didn’t need them, that he would just fasten the buttons on the sleeves.  I had to explain that dress shirts do not have buttons and cufflinks are required!  Whilst he was determined to use the buttons, (because of course I was wrong on this matter), I borrowed my Dad’s cuff link collection so that when he realised he did need them I had a pair on hand!!

Of course, it’s not just not knowing what to wear for occasions.  He generally gets confused with vocabulary!  The other day he was talking about a ‘tactile email’ from our minister.  I wasn’t quite sure what he meant, so said tactile meant ‘touchy-feely’ and he said I was wrong.  Of course, as he says I’m wrong he’s pulling out his i-phone to check the dictionary definition and after looking up three accepted that I was right and he had been using the word incorrectly.   Better with me than with a client I guess!!

Then he asked if I could hire a dress.  I told him women’s wear didn’t quite work the same as menswear.  But I did get a lovely black lace maternity dress quite cheaply from New Look.  And it seemed to be the right thing to wear as last night pretty much all the ladies were in black lace dresses and all the men were in black tie and it does help you feel more comfortable in a room full of strangers looking as though you ought to be there!

When we got there we were on the VIP table with our local MP and other representatives from the PR company who had invited us.  They were all friendly and we had some nice conversations whilst having a lovely four course meal!  We had soup to start, then roast turkey, Christmas pudding, a cheeseboard and mince pies!  I was very hungry and ate everything and then felt uncomfortably full once we were home!!  Then the highlight of the evening was watching a soul band perform from the 70’s!!  Their promotional photo on the menu made them look quite young so it was really amusing to see these three old men hobble out and then proceed to sing heartily for 45 minutes!  They were called ‘The Real Thing’ and sang ‘You to me are everything’ which was the only song I knew!!

I found a full length mirror in the ladies so this is me in my dress!

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I have legs!  I’m sure this time with Joel I had swollen legs and cankles!!

 

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And here we are at our table:

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It was a fun evening and Steve appreciated me making the effort to be there with him.  Although he’s great in a business setting with his networking and selling himself, in a social setting he still gets a bit awkward and seems unsure of himself so that’s where I come in!!  I’m happy to chat to anyone about anything and it was nice to meet some folk from his networking group.

I have to say I’m suffering today though.  Having worn heels for the first time in ages I’m really achy and overtired but it was worth it.  I’m very glad we have a quiet Saturday today.  Joel is playing happily with his lego and we’re going round to my parents to put their tree up after lunch.  Maybe we could fit a quick nap in beforehand too!

 

30+4 Bump Pic

The main reason that I’m being a bit rubbish with the bump selfies is that since moving house I don’t have a decent mirror anywhere to take full length pictures of the bump!

We moved over 6 months ago and I’ve not even been to Ikea yet!!  I think the husband would worry that I’d go crazy and to be fair I would.  I just want so many little things as finishing touches, a picture here, a mirror there!!  Our bedroom is terrible, it’s the last room to be done by Christmas (and may not make it to be honest) but until the wallpaper is stripped and we choose colours and get ourselves two matching wardrobes and a chest of drawers I don’t know where a mirror would go anyway.

But i remembered last night that there is a half mirror inside my Grandma’s old wardrobe (which I’ve had for over 10 years now so a new one is overdue!!) so here you go.  The crazy bump at 30 and a half weeks!!

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I’m in my maternity jeggings and a tight black top to show it off but will have a tunic top over the top later which is a bit more flowing!

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It is really getting heavy now.  I don’t think I could bear to go overdue again this time!!  At least I know the midwives can’t let it happen to the point of being induced again!!   And here’s a couple to compare with……

Looking plump at 16 weeks..

Looking plump at 16 weeks..Stafford-20130830-01924

And here I am looking short and wide!  There was a full length mirror in the ladies at the Eastbourne conference centre!

And here I am looking short and wide! There was a full length mirror in the ladies at the Eastbourne conference centre!

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How much more can my tummy stretch!!!!

 

28 Week Bump

Well, it may be closer to 29 weeks but at least it’s a pic!!

And please excuse the bare tum pic if you’re of a sensitive disposition!!  At least I’m still fitting in my knickers!  For now!!

It's a bit dark, but this was in our B&B room in Eastbourne.

It’s a bit dark, but this was in our B&B room in Eastbourne.

And here I am looking short and wide!  There was a full length mirror in the ladies at the Eastbourne conference centre!

And here I am looking short and wide! There was a full length mirror in the ladies at the Eastbourne conference centre!