The 8 Week Checks…..

On Tuesday Josiah was 9 weeks old, and went along for his 8 week check.

He had developed the worst case of cradle cap I’d ever seen, it was all down his forehead to his eyebrows and he’d also scratched himself right by his eye which looked terrible so I thought how typical it was.  He also still had a gunky and squinty left eye which despite me putting a drop in 4 times a day, was still not quite right.

Anyway, he saw the Dr first and was pronounced healthy with no problems.  He said to keep oiling his head, to keep using the drops and also that he’d not got enough green poop on the last visit for the hospital to test so I have to try again!  I have a little pot to try to get it in 😦  Then I have to rush it along to the hospital within 2 hours.  Fun times ahead!

Then we went along to the nurse and she got the rotavirus drops out first, and he was very resistant, as he’s not known anything except breast milk and didn’t know how to swallow them without sucking so that took ages to get them down.

And then it was his two injections, one per thigh and he howled!!  Proper loud yells, but the moment it was over I latched him on and he fed and was happy enough by the time we left her room.

Finally it was over to the health visitor for weighing.  They took one look at his head and prescribed me some heavy duty ointment which they advised to leave on for 24 hours before washing off and brushing the scales away.  I put it on him yesterday and he was like a vaseline covered gunky creature, but it has done a great job.  I’m sure that he’s feeling itchy with it all as he keeps rubbing his face on shoulders and arms trying to scratch it and making his face very dry looking.

He’s only put 5oz on in the past fortnight (13lbs 7oz), so that means he’s dropped down to the 75th percentile.  I’m sure that it is to do with his green nappies.  They said not to worry and they only get concerned if he drops another ‘channel’ so I’m to get him weighed in another couple of weeks.  I guess I’m worrying that my milk isn’t enough for him.  I love being able to breast feed him.  I love the cuddles and quiet times, the sleepy bed feeds and the fact it’s our private time.  But obviously if we have to go to bottles for him then we would.  It would be a big change though and I’d have to learn the sterilisation methods and be really organised 😦  Breast is so much easier.

Anyway, this is my little man on getting home, so I think he was feeling ok at this point!!


He didn’t sleep well though and went from his regular 6 hours, feed then another 4 hours sleeping time to every two hours again.   Couple that with Joel getting into bed with us at some point as well and none of us had a good night at all.  Then yesterday Josiah was very clingy, and wanted Mummy cuddles all day which was fine by me.  I love cuddling him!  However, Steve’s parents are visiting for Easter and Joel’s birthday, so would have preferred some happy Joss cuddles too, but it wasn’t happening at all.

Last night though after a raised temperature with a little calpol to help out he slept his 6 hours again and then 5 hours.  So he is back to normal in one regard, but has now developed the same cough that Joel has had, so both are going to the Dr again this afternoon so I can get them checked over before the 4 day weekend.  I do not want to be rushing to hospital over Easter thank you very much!!  Hearing a new(ish) baby cough is such a worry.  I just want Joel to stop coughing, (it’s been back for a week now) as he’s been off and on with it over a month.  I want everyone to be fit and well for Joel’s birthday weekend!  Of course, with worrying about the boys I’ve got run down too, and I’ve been feeling full of cold but I will soldier on and take as much paracetamol as I can to get through till next week.  Then it will be a quiet and relaxing week for us with possibly a birthday treat day out for Joel.  Mum and Dad want to take him out to a zoo or animal farm or something.

I am a creature of habit and like things to run to order!!  Everything gets a bit upside down when the inlaws visit, but they love seeing Joel and he loves seeing them.  And my Father in Law is building the climbing frame for us which is brilliant.  It’s for his birthday and lots of family members have contributed towards it which is lovely.  It’s sort of an investment for his playing future!  There isn’t a decent playpark suitable near enough so I figured he could have one in his garden instead!!

The Big Blue Rope

Josiah’s umbilical cord when born was massive.  It was long, fat and shiny looking.   As he was taken over for his tests and weigh-in a long length was trailing after him like a snake and Steve and I heard the Doctor’s commenting on how huge it was!!  I guess I never thought there was that much variation in umbilical cord size.

We had a visit from our health visitor last week on Thursday to do Josiah’s hearing test (which was fine in both ears yay!!) and I asked her to look at his tummy button.  His cord and plastic thing had fallen off a few days previously (I wished I noted which day it was but it was a lot later than Joel’s who was about day 4-5, and certainly a couple of days past a week for Joss) as it had left a chunk of gnarly looking black skin under it.

She commented that looking at it, she presumed he had a very large umbilical cord which had meant his cord hadn’t dropped off early, and was why he was such a big baby, as he’d been fed very well by my placenta!  Just from looking at a bit of black gnarly skin.  I was impressed!!  Anyway, she said to keep an eye on it, it would likely fall off in a few days but to be careful in case there was red jelly under it!  Gah!!!

Anyway, she was right again, a few days later I was changing Josiah and noticed this black thing had gone, so I had to go fishing inside his vest to find it, and his tummy button is looking a lot more normal now, but a bit bleedy in one bit which I’m bathing, but he’ll have it looked at on Thursday when the HV comes out again.  We’re actually seeing two at the moment as one is a student in training so they’re alternating weeks which I don’t mind at all as it means he gets extra care and attention at the moment.

He was also weighed again after his hearing test and had gone from 10lbs 2 to 10lbs 12oz!!  The HV called me a Jersey Cow as I must have gold top milk.  I guess that was meant as a compliment.  I wonder if it’s because he’s so big that he’s gone from feeding for 20-30 minutes to 10-15 on average.  It was worrying me that he wasn’t feeding enough, but as long as he’s putting weight on I guess he’s just better than he was at pulling the milk out.

Every night he seems to get a green nappy about 11pm but that’s because he has a couple of hours of cluster feeding, on off, and on again over a long period of time before sleeping so he’s not getting enough hind milk, but by morning they’re back to mustard yellow.  The midwife had noticed this as well but said as he was doing so well with his weight gains to keep doing whatever I was doing, so I am.  I am trying to keep him on the same breast for a good hour though to encourage him to get the fattier milk but I think once it becomes a bit of work for him he gets lazy and drifts off to sleep.

I seem to have more milk this time round as well.  I find myself leaking unexpectedly in places like Asda in the day!  And on the bedsheets when I wake up in a morning if he’s 20 minutes past a feed because he’s not yet woken up!  I keep squirting him in the face trying to latch him on and if he’s feeding from the left, getting a damp patch on the right.  I’m washing nighties a lot as the wretched breast pads are never in the right place on my sleep bras!!!  I can’t wait for this supply to settle down as I can’t yet sleep comfortably on my side, it hurts my breasts too much.  I’m still lying flat on my back but with a pillow under my thighs to bring my hips forward as they’re still achy and clicky if not in this position.  I wonder when I’ll feel back to normal?!

I am impressed with my mummy tummy though as it’s nearly gone.  I dont’ know how it’s happened at all.  Obviously there is a c-section overhang and some crepey looking stretch mark skin, and I’m certainly not concave with a six pack by any sense of the word but I’m sure after Joel I looked a lot bigger for a lot longer and it took joining Slimming world to lose some of the weight and tummy.  This time I can fit back in my old leggings and jeans (not pre-pregnancy size but still, jeans!!) and my coat does up so I’m not sure how it’s happened this time.  I must try not to eat too many chocolate buttons this time and sausage rolls.  After Joel I would walk to town a lot for exercise but get hungry and buy a sausage roll and that was not good for me.  Unfortunately, healthy fruit just doesn’t cut it at the moment as I do get hungry with the breast feeding at funny times. But I’m trying to be good and eat home cooked food with fresh vegetables and not have bad puddings, but a yoghurt or fruit instead.  It’s not quite slimming world standards just yet but it’s a good start.


And still here waiting!

Getting more and more tired and fed up with aches and pains.

I’ve given up walking even short strolls as baby is so low it’s painfully uncomfortable and I just need to wee all the time!  I keep getting stabbing pains down below and presume its down to the extra nether region pressure and extra pints of blood going round my system.

I’ve been napping lots each day, and working on a jigsaw as a means of relaxing.  I completed it today so baby can come whenever he likes.  It was a good one which I didn’t think I’d manage on my own, but I’m proud to say I did every single of the 1000 pieces myself!!  Who knew I could sort a puzzle!!

photo (10)

Yawn.  I could do with a nap now to be honest.  Maybe I’ll put  a film on for Joel to watch to keep him quiet for an hour and see if I can doze on the sofa with him.  I feel so bad that I’m not engaging him properly but it won’t be for much longer.  I just cannot get on the floor to push trains round at the moment and the more I’m on my feet the more I hurt!

Steve has been quite good at entertaining him when he’s around to let me have rests and naps and yesterday took him to a park for the morning and shopping in Asda for an hour in the afternoon.  My parents had him on friday so I could have a quiet day as well.  The only issue is at nighttime as he wants me to read him the bedtime story and tuck him in.  But I have been doing it every evening as he won’t be the only one soon, and I want to cherish these last few days of him being an only child and cuddle him and kiss him before bedtime.  It’s the only time he’ll let me really as in the day he’s far too busy!!

On Thursday I had to laugh as Steve took him to nursery and is finally getting a taste of how difficult chasing a toddler round the house is to get them ready to head out.   Steve was trying to get Joel to put a woolly jumper on as it was chilly out and Joel was arguing that he had a t-shirt on and did not want a jumper.  He’s quite good at answering back already and I could tell Steve was beginning to get exasperated.   Combine that with a child who won’t put a coat on, shoes on or get in his buggy and you have a fun situation that I normally get each morning so I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself whilst heading back to bed for the morning!  Bliss!!

Tomorrow is D Day….

And I really don’t feel as though anything will happen.



I have tidied the house, cleared up our bedroom, vacuumed all round, got meals stored in the freezer, given up on crochet, got the nursery sorted, found the pieces for the changing unit I have decided to put downstairs as a nappy and stuff base (it was useful at our old house) built a laundry hamper for the bathroom and a little cupboard to store my lotions and potions in, washed up breakfast and lunch, cooked dinner (hoping Steve will wash up dinner plates before bed), sorted the dog, fed the birds, got more food in, bought enough cereal to last 2 weeks, and to be honest, I feel the most achey and tired I have ever felt.  I don’t think it’s from doing all the above, I’ve just felt like this all day and I slept ok last night and got to lie in till 8am this morning (wowsers!!) so i’m wondering whether it’s a sign my body is trying to conserve energy, I just don’t know what to expect.

Anyway, I’m still here and pregnant at 39+6 so we’ll have to see if I get to do a 40 weeks countdown post tomorrow!!!


I don’t know what men think sometimes at all.   Or in fact, ever!  And they think we women are hard to work out.

Take this morning for example.

I woke at 4.30am with painful hips, ribs and pelvis.  I lay in bed until I just had to get up to ease the weight on my sides and went downstairs.   I was hungry so had some cereal and a cup of tea then worried that I hadn’t felt much baby movement over the past day.  I watched a few episodes of ‘The Good Wife’ to distract myself and try to monitor movement before feeling so tired again by 8am when I heard Joel up and about.  He’d been into Steve in bed who hadn’t woken up.  I got Steve up to sort Joel out and gave him clothes to dress Joel in, told him to sort breakfast and went back to bed.  I slept well and woke at 9.40.

Then I found Steve had done nothing all morning.  He’d laid on the sofa to doze some more, hadn’t dressed Joel, hadn’t tidied, hadn’t washed up or walked the dog (all things I would have normally done on getting up under regular circumstances).   He was due to manage the sound desk at church and had to be there for 10am but needed a shower.  By 9.40 he was in the shower and at 10.10am he left the house to go and set up the sound equipment for a service which begins at 10.30am and is meant to be having sound checks by 10.10!!!

His parting comment was ‘I refuse to rush on a Sunday’.   Well, had he actually got himself sorted when he first got up, there would be no rushing and as a result he was very rushed but just didn’t care.  I don’t get how he can’t see things that need doing.  I would love, just once to come downstairs after having had a lie in (which doesn’t happen all that often, but at the moment my sleep is so bad I’m being a lot more forceful about it!!) and find he’s sorted all the chores which are now waiting and looking at me 😦

The other issue is the baby movement.  I had another cup of tea and the heat of it seems to have caused some wiggling.  I noticed in the bath last night that my tummy was lurching to the right rather than the left and I was getting little brushy strokes on the left side so I wonder whether baby has moved down and twisted sides.  That would explain why things feel a bit different today.  As long as he’s not gone breech or turned back up i guess its all ok.   I will keep checking today though and call the delivery suite if I’m worried by lunchtime.  Right now I’m trying to rest and relax for a quiet morning whilst Steve has Joel at church.  No doubt he’ll be using me as an excuse as to why he’s late and add extra drama 😦

My other gripe about Steve stems from the argument over tiles we had at Christmas where he berated me over buying bathroom tiles.   I had the final bathroom invoice from the builders the day after I’d enjoyed my first bubble bath in our lovely bathroom and I was so relaxed and happy for one evening.  Plus my best friend from school who has been trying to get pregnant for over two years and has just had her first bout of ivf rang to tell me she was 13 weeks pregnant and it had worked first go which has a 33% chance of success!!!  I was over the moon for them!

Anyway, the bill came in and they’d added an extra £1400 to it!!!!  I opened the email and instantly felt sick.   Getting money out of Steve for house things is difficult enough and I just thought Steve would flip out and have a go at me about it.  He had a busy work day on Friday so I didn’t tell him straight away as I thought he’d be better off focusing on his new client and filming his awards ceremony that evening.   He had a good day and I had a privately stressy one wondering how we’d get the money, how they could add extra on like that without discussing it first, whether it was my fault, and pretty much feeling wretched all day.  Steve had really seemed to like these builders and had asked them for quotes on the garden jobs and widening our drive and rebuilding the wall and I saw these things disappearing away, never to be done as Steve seems to have to know who is doing the jobs and develop a sense of trust with them before being happy about paying them!!!

Anyway, Steve got back about midnight and I’d tried to sleep but just couldn’t switch off so sat up and waited for him to get in.  I had looked online and the law was totally on our side about it as they’d given us a written quote of £2498 for the job.  They’d even asked for an advance midway through so we’d paid them £1100 to help them out with their cash flow and I had the remaining £1400 ready to pay them on completion.   And at no point had they discussed adding that much to our bill, they hadn’t mentioned extra costs at all and I’d assumed because it was all specified individually in our quote it was covered under that.

I was terrified Steve would get crazy cross again and we’d fall out and it would be as bad as the tile argument at Christmas.  But for some reason I still can’t really fathom he was fine about it.  He said he’d call them up on Monday and discuss it with them.  He didn’t seem to mind whereas I was really cross with them and felt taken advantage of.  I guess he just put his business head on and negotiating is something he’s good at.  He told me off for stressing and asked why I was so upset over it.  How he can be ok over £1400 and flip out over £70 (when he doesn’t even know how much tiles cost and hadn’t measured the space requiring tiling) I don’t know.  (He still thinks he’s right over that argument whereas I know he’s totally wrong, but we’ve moved on!).

So I get to leave it to him to sort out.  I’m not so silly as to think there wouldn’t be hidden charges.  The builder fitted the door for us, and had to buy little bits here and there, so we were expected a couple of hundred more at least to the original quote.  That’s normal and to be expected, but £1400 is a lot of money we don’t have to hand and was a nasty surprise.

So that is where things are at.   I’m feeling very ‘argh’ about it all.   Baby worries, getting fed up being so heavy, not sleeping, being tired and grumpy and tearful all the time isn’t good.    Builders invoices.  House needs tidying and I have no energy or inclination to do anything about it.  I feel like being a hermit and don’t want to go out or see anyone.   As I missed church last week Mum got inundated with questions as to how I was, and I just don’t want to have to keep repeating myself that I’m weary and achey.  So it’s just easier to stay in.  Then I ache if I stand and ache if I sit, ache if I lie down.

The only positive is that during this typing baby is wiggling away again which is reassuring.  But right in my ribs again which is uncomfortable.

9 days until my due date.  Please make a move soon baby.  Please please please.   I want to feel back to myself again!!

Wee Small Hours…… Again…..

So here I am.

Again.  Just before 6am.

I’ve been awake since 4am but just lying in bed feeling as though baby is about to break out through my ribs.

Having got to 5am and no sign of sleep on the horizon at all I decided that I’d be better off using my time cleaning the kitchen so have done the washing up and cleaned the sides down.   There is also a basket of clean laundry eying me up which I could take upstairs and sort through, a few baby things that need hanging in the wardrobe.  But I don’t want to disturb Joel and Steve by pottering too much up there.   I do enjoy hanging baby things up though!!

The builders will be here in a couple of hours and I’ll head to my Mums for a nap I think.  I won’t make it through the day having got up this early.  I did have a little doze on the sofa yesterday whilst Steve and Joel were watching Planes on the TV.  I didn’t mean to.  I normally struggle to switch off from background noise like that but may have had 20 minutes!!!  Ooh, maybe we could make up the pram and change it back from buggy mode.   That would be useful!! And fun!  I’ve missed the pram!!

We had a nice morning with Joel loving the party.   It’s a relatively new place not too far away with a giant wooden climbing frame inside a warehouse.   I had thought it would be quiet being a Sunday morning but how wrong I was.  We couldn’t even park outside so Steve dropped Joel and I off by the doors and had to go further afield.  All Joel’s little nursery friends were there and he went straight off with Trudy to the 0-5 section which he could manage on his own.   But the older kids were in the bigger section and that had rope bridges and climbing nets and he needed Daddy to help him over those bits so I sat with Liz and we had drinks and laughed to see Steve staggering about carrying Joel and Trudy under one arm each to get them over the ropes!  It was a very pleasant way to spend the morning!  And we would certainly go again.  Joel had a good hour and half to run around and play before the lunch and he promptly burst into tears when called away to eat.   We went up to a little room where they’d laid out party food, chicken nuggets and chips, crisps, sandwiches, salad platter, pizza and sausage rolls.   Joel was a bit too tired to eat much at all and nibbled only cucumber and crisps.   He even struggled with his little pot of jelly for pudding.



After lunch there was another 15 minutes left of party time so back they went to play some more.   And quite promptly once the two hours was up, an announcement was made over the tannoy that we had to vacate, so cue lots of upset and hyperactive toddlers who were only pacified by receiving a goody bag!!

Steve took Joel to the car whilst I said goodbyes, and by the time I got to the car Joel had already got into the goodybag to retrieve a chunk of chocolate cake which was smeared all over his face and hands.  I had thought he’d crash out in the car on the drive home but the extra sugar boost seemed to keep him going all afternoon as well!

Then we watched a film together, Joel went to do bouncing outside and we had an Indian for dinner at Steve’s request.   I think I will have to avoid Indian takeaways for the near future.  They just don’t agree with me at the moment!  I had a bhuna with boiled rice, so nothing too heavy but I think that’s to do with my stomach feeling a bit off during the night, never mind the poor baby being extra squished.

So this week I should hopefully get the house back to myself by Wednesday and Steve is rather busy with work and has asked that I keep the baby in until after Friday when he has a new client to film an awards ceremony for which he is already stressed about and having to rearrange cover if I go into labour will be very inconvenient for him.   Hmm.   What are the chances baby has heard that and will come on Friday.  I know I would if I were baby!!  Ha ha!!

Still Cooking….

I really don’t do well at this patience lark.

Every niggle, every twinge, I can’t help but wonder ‘is this it?’

I don’t feel relaxed or rested yet!  The bathroom is still underway with the builders due back on Monday.  They’re hoping to be done by Wednesday which would mean they’d been here for 10 days, although with two weekends in between where we’ve still been without a bath or shower facilities!  Thank goodness my parents live so close and we’ve been popping round for showers and baths in between!  I don’t what we’d have done if they weren’t around.  We’d have had to sneak into the local gym or something?!

There is a lot of progress though.  The tiles are on, albeit not grouted yet.  The sink and toilet are in.  The flooring is down.  The taps are fitted.  All that remains is the shower, the lights, the extractor fan, the heated towel rail and all that plumbing is set up and ready to go.   Oh, and the payment of course!!  Even Steve is coming round to the idea of progress now.  I think because he’s met the builders and they’re nice guys he’s talking about getting them to quote and give ideas for our kitchen extension.  I can’t even think about that this year.  It’ll cost a lot and be such an inconvenience whilst being done I don’t think we should do it for a couple of years to be honest and focus on the garden and hall stairs and landing.  But we’ll see.

I’ve been struggling to sleep again.   Last night I woke at 1.30 feeling really strange.  I couldn’t work out if I was going to be sick or what, and lay there for a short while just wondering if it was going to be a big body clear out.  It wasn’t.  And I went back to sleep an hour later.   And now I’m awake at 5am again, and as I lay there thinking about a bowl of Kellogg’s Frosties I just felt hungry so have come down to eat, and wrap a present!

Joel has a birthday party today.  It’s a boy from his nursery who is going to be 4.   He likes pirates and Star Wars.   Star Wars stuff is really expensive it turns out, so I’ve bought him a pirate card game with good reviews on Amazon!!  I had bought a pirate book, but decided it’s a bit young for a four year old and he’s likely already got it if that’s the case.  I did forget the wrapping paper though and part of my weird dreaming stage has involved stressing about how to wrap this present up today so I must find the sellotape soon and see whether the scrap of boyish non-Christmas paper I’ve located will do!

Dreams are so strange at the moment.  With worrying about wrapping this gift I was dreaming that we had to stop to buy paper on the way and as I was trying to wrap in the car on the way the gift was getting smaller and smaller and I was frantically bulking it out with extra paper and it ended up being the size of a stamp and would get lost easily!

The other night I dreamt that the neighbours let themselves into our house with brooms to sweep the frogs away, and I was confused as we don’t have frogs, but then we did and they were all in the conservatory, big greeny brown ones, and when I went into the garden I was stepping on them, so we got brushes to sweep them away and went to our local Premiership football stadium and were in the tunnel trying to crochet but frogs were there too.  I have no idea why I was thinking about any of that other than the crochet as I’ve been trying to learn and failing miserably!!

So here I am.   No other signs that any baby arrival is imminent.  I’ve been having a few more tummy tightenings but no ‘show’ as yet.  My stomach is giant and the skin has gone all shiny from the stretched stretch marks.   I’m aching all the time, and trying to nest as best I can.   I have not had any inclination to clean kitchen cupboards or anything like that but I am stressing about getting the nursery and upstairs tidy and clean which I can’t do at the moment with afore mentioned builders.   I’ve washed every bit of baby linen and clothing I can get my hands on, rearranged the baby wardrobe and chest of drawers to put all Joel’s stuff in the drawers now and all baby’s stuff in the wardrobe.  And I think I want some shelves putting up too.   All to help with storage and places to put things.   I don’t think I have enough places to put things yet, and I want to be organised and be able to put my hands on something when needed without too much bother.

Which is why I’m cross i can’t find the sellotape right now!  Unless Steve left it in his garage after his Christmas wrapping?  Worth a check I think.


I just can’t sleep 😦

Every time I feel that I’m almost asleep I suddenly feel hungry, achey, baby kicks out (seriously, earlier it felt like he was kicking me under my left armpit!  What’s that all about?!) plus I had another TMI incident this afternoon which has resulted in another lovely bout of piles 😦  I now understand what people mean when they talk about the ‘bunch of grapes’ and I really didn’t want to know what that felt like.  Ever.   I have just had enough of this baby pushing down so much, you know, ‘there’.  I really think he’s done it to me!  Things were ok yesterday.  And today –  blah.

The bathroom men showed up yesterday and will be starting today.  We should be getting a skip on the drive for all the old stuff to go in and I’ll be able to fling some rubbish we’ve accumulated into it as well.

Here it is in it’s lovely tiny pink and green style:

photo 5 (2)


The green carpeted floor and wooden accessories highlight the pale pink suite with corner bath….

photo 4 (5)

The wooden dado rail and busy green tiles and wallpaper with fitted cupboards!

photo 3 (9)

The lovely exposed piping and broken shower (which actually has good pressure and would be ok if not broken!!)

photo 2 (9)

The sink and shelf…

photo 1 (10)


And the boxed in toilet and bath again.

Project management of getting these things done is tiring.  Plus with not realising I had to really source all the things we needed has been a bit of a headache!!

I’ve had to spend more money than I thought on getting the shower, paint, door handles, thermostatic thingys which are angled and straight, taps, and all these little things I didn’t think about before.  I spent well over half a day researching online, Ebay, Amazon, and big store sales and managed to save quite a lot of money.  Steve just looks fed up with the costs rising.   I had told him that this sort of thing happens and he needed to prepare a ‘buffer’ zone with money.   I just don’t get how he thinks he can pay the bare minimum for everything.   He’s really trying to undercut it all.  As long as we have the £2500 for the labour we should be ok now I hope.   He’s put £400 in our savings, I’ve saved £1000 and he has £1100 sitting in his desk somewhere.   See what I mean, the bare minimum of £2500 dotted around the area in various accounts.   One big lump sum in one place would be far easier to manage.  There may be more surprises as like I’ve tried to explain to him, they don’t know what state things will be in once they start removing tiles and getting old baths out.   It could be awful!!  Or it could be fine and we have no hidden costs.

So now I’ve bought a shower (a big static rain head one with a separate hand held bit too), sink taps, bath taps, plugs for both, a heated towel rail, the white p shaped shower bath, toilet and sink, a mirror which tilts up for 6ft Steve and down for 5ft me, a glass shelf, a hook for our robes, a cup for toothbrushes, a new chrome bin, a chrome light pull, a pot of paint, a bathroom privacy lock for a new door, 5 boxes of white tiles and some navy/black mosaic tiles and all I’ve forgotten is the flooring which I will have to just go out and find some of tomorrow as the men want everything on site by tomorrow to just get on with it.

They’ve promised to leave us with a toilet overnight each night, but in the day I will have to waddle to my Mums if I need the loo!  So I will be hanging out there a lot this week, and have to leave Izzy there so she doesn’t escape.  Plus I’ll be out at the hospital for the afternoon with my appointments.  I wonder whether that’s anything to do with my current insomnia as well?

It’s all a bit stressy with getting bathroom done and waiting for a baby I think.  Not to mention that Steve has relapsed into helpless pathetic hopelessness again.  I know it sounds very unsympathetic but I’m beginning to resent his flapping hands, his over exaggerated shivering and general moaning of being cold all the time.  If I make a grimace because I’ve been kicked in the ribs, he makes more of an ‘ooohhh’ noise because he’s so ill.  It’s like he’s trying to make suffering into a competition.   He moans that he’s ill if I need some help around the house, but is happy to go out of an evening because ‘that will help him recover’.   I’ve felt so unsupported throughout this whole pregnancy by him it’s untrue.  I know he’s been busy with work a lot before Christmas, but I’ve felt so alone throughout it.  He’s taken no interest really whatsoever.  This past two weeks  I’ve tried to help him, and encourage him to have early nights and rest up, and get better.   But until he starts actually acting on advice, rather than going out of an evening, getting himself more tired, not even wearing a coat in the cold rain I don’t know what he thinks will happen.  He just doesn’t care enough to look after himself properly which I see as immature and selfish.   He has to start putting family first, and thinking about getting himself better as I’m going to be relying on him very soon, I should be able to rely on him now but can’t as he’s just acting pathetically at the moment.   I know it’s different for men during pregnancy from women.  Its not real for them until the baby is here but so many men seem to be cherishing their partners and I just would have loved to have known what that felt like!!  Sad I know, but there you go.

Anyway, these are a few of the musings taking over my brain and keeping me from sleep.  I may try and doze on the sofa, or attempt to go back to bed now.  I’m tired in body but not in mind.  But must rest as best I can.   Goodnight again.


I’ve never suffered with back pain before.  I can now see how it’s quite a debilitating thing.

Today Steve had a morning breakfast meeting so I had to walk Izzy with Joel to nursery, then walk Izzy back again and come back to work.  And I feel very much done in.

I have to say, I do wonder what pregnancy and labour would be like had Eve not eaten the apple in the Garden of Eden!!!  Would carrying a baby inside have been much easier?  And would they have just floated out painlessly after 9 months?  That would be very appealing at the moment!  I think whether you believe in the creation story or not, at this point in pregnancy, women are all a bit nervous about the baby having to come out, and with how things all went a bit wrong with Joel’s entrance into the world, I’m extra worried as to what will happen this time.

Don’t get me wrong, I know all this pain and discomfort is totally worth it.  But pain does make me feel down.   I get home from work and have to have a cry because I’m so achey.  I’m having to take the lift up to my office rather than the stairs now 😦

I had a 31 week midwife appointment yesterday.  She says she thinks I’m getting SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) which is sort of what I thought anyway, but my it’s painful.  And my back!  Ouchy.

Everything else was fine though.  I measured fine, urine was fine, blood pressure was fine and results from the 28 week blood tests were fine including iron!  Phew!

She has advised me to buy a maternity belt to give more support to my back and try to lift the bump a bit to relieve my pelvis so I’ve found one online to try out.

She asked how long I had left at work, and after this week, it’s just two weeks.  Just 6 days.  It feels a long time although I know it isn’t really.  I hate the fact the toilets are such a walk away.  I commented that a commode at my desk would be helpful, or at least a catheter and she laughed!!  I was only half joking as well!  I quite liked my catheter after my c-section with Joel.  Not having to move was nice!

This morning I was tickling Joel as I tried to get him dressed to distract him into getting a vest over his head and had to laugh as he said ‘oh Mummy, you’re too funny’!!  It’s nice to be appreciated!!  I still chuckle over the ‘thinking about horses’ comment the other morning.    He’s just so cute!  I can’t wait for another little boy to arrive!  They will be just adorable together.


Putting our Christmas tree up last weekend…


Joel had a lovely time helping to decorate it!


It took lots of concentration…


At the Chester Winter Wonderland on the fair ground rides with Trudy…




They loved this car ride!


Not so impressed with Father Christmas!!!

Joel was one happy boy!!!




A Few Things…..

I am quite a fan of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Me Up ice-cream.  I have managed to stash a tub in the freezer which Steve hasn’t found and am working my through it when I feel I need a treat.  I’m not able to eat much in an evening at the moment as I’m getting reflux indigestion and food just makes me feel worse.  The cold ice-cream is nice and I love peanut butter.  It seems baby does too as he’s jumping away at the moment!

The other morning Joel came and climbed into bed with me.  “Mummy” he said.   ‘Yes Joel” I replied.  ‘I’m thinking!” said Joel.  “oh, what about” I asked.  “Horses” he said!!  It was really funny.  I don’t know what is going on in his little head at the moment but the fact he wanted me to know he was thinking about horses was cute beyond belief!!

Last night he came trotting into our bedroom and climbed up onto the bed and sat there saying ‘I’m awake Mummy, wake up!’  I assumed it was about 6.45 from the darkness outside, and glancing at my clock saw it was actually 4am!!!  So I just told him that it was still sleepy time and asked if he wanted to go back to his bed.  He burst into tears, lay down next to me and promptly went back to sleep!  And that was that!  Very strange.  He slept in until 7.30 and i was able to sneak a quick shower before he got up too which was a bonus.   A bath or shower on my own is a real treat these days!!

I’ve been back to work today after two weeks off.  I had my week’s holiday to decorate, and then a week’s sick leave and it was a nice break but now I’ve had one day in the office I was in tears with back ache this evening.  I’m sure my posture and chair are causing it, and the thought of two more days before my ‘weekend’ is very daunting.  I will mention it to my midwife in the morning.  I don’t want to risk being signed off work and then forced to take maternity early as our finances are relying on my having January as leave so as to get full pay until mid March before Joel’s free nursery hours take effect in April!!!  It’s a bit of a stress but I’ve never suffered with back pain like I have today.  Roll on Christmas Eve when I can finish for a year.   Can I make it?!!!!

On a better note potty training seems to really have sunk in for Joel.  We’ve been able to have days out (albeit taking the potty under the buggy) but Joel now says ‘need wee wee’ or ‘need potty’ and we just sit him on it and he keeps his clothes dry and clean!  He’s not had an accident for quite a while and today is showing really good control.  He had three wees and one poop all day!  Hurray!!