With 5 days to go to my due date I sort of feel as though I’ve not been able to fully relax on maternity leave yet. With having the builders in I’ve not had my house to myself for the duration, and now they’ve completed and we’re having the issues over the extra money they want that is stressing me out.
This morning I received news that where I work are closing the campus and relocating to Stoke. Admittedly its only 30 minutes away but it’s a nightmare of a journey and there will be redundancies before that happens anyway. Pretty much we’ve known all admin will be restructured for this September so we’ll be culled before the move, but to think our town is losing its Uni campus is a blow as well. I’ve been working there for 13 years and have really liked it. It was a great place to work.
When I went off for maternity with Joel I knew I’d be going back there and what I’d be doing and now I’m facing a very uncertain future. We don’t know whether the nursery on site will be sold off, so where this baby will go I’m not sure, I wanted him to go there too as it’s been so good for Joel. I don’t know if I’ll even have a job and if I did get one of the new posts, what I’d be doing and whether I could remain part time. I don’t like feeling so out of control of my future.
On Tuesday Joel came down with a little cough. He went to nursery yesterday and was happy enough, but still coughing but last night was awful. He got a very high fever, woke every couple of hours so I was up and down with him, trying to remember when he last had Calpol or Ibuprofen, giving him water, cuddles, stories and at 5am he finally seemed to fall into a proper sleep and his temperature came down. But he fell asleep in my bed so I was evicted to the spare room! Part of me thought that as Steve had said he’d be on Joel duty for the morning I’d get to lie in a bit but at 8.15am I heard Joel crying so went in to see what was going on and Joel was sat next to Steve in bed, crying as Daddy wouldn’t wake up. I was cross to say the least. I woke Steve up and told him I’d had about two hours sleep, and how could he ignore Joel crying next to him in bed! He has to learn to hear him and not zone him out. It’s worrying that this will happen after regular nights of no sleep with a new born and I’ll have to depend more on my parents than my husband for nap times which I think is wrong and letting Steve get away with his responsibilities.
Anyway, Joel was not well all day and I got him into the Doctors for 11.30. We got to the surgery and after waiting ages (you can tell when he’s properly ill as he sits quietly on my knee) we saw the doctor to be told that he’s got a chest infection. He seems to come down with these things so fast. So we’ve got antibiotics and chocolate buttons to help him get better.
It’s just been stressful frankly so far with too much going on! With Joel, I remember just sitting in the garden in the sunshine reading books. This time my days to myself I was so looking forward to just haven’t happened what with one thing and another!! I guess it’s good training for multi tasking with two children.
Here’s hoping I get to sleep a bit better tonight.