Insomnia

I just can’t sleep 😦

Every time I feel that I’m almost asleep I suddenly feel hungry, achey, baby kicks out (seriously, earlier it felt like he was kicking me under my left armpit!  What’s that all about?!) plus I had another TMI incident this afternoon which has resulted in another lovely bout of piles 😦  I now understand what people mean when they talk about the ‘bunch of grapes’ and I really didn’t want to know what that felt like.  Ever.   I have just had enough of this baby pushing down so much, you know, ‘there’.  I really think he’s done it to me!  Things were ok yesterday.  And today –  blah.

The bathroom men showed up yesterday and will be starting today.  We should be getting a skip on the drive for all the old stuff to go in and I’ll be able to fling some rubbish we’ve accumulated into it as well.

Here it is in it’s lovely tiny pink and green style:

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The green carpeted floor and wooden accessories highlight the pale pink suite with corner bath….

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The wooden dado rail and busy green tiles and wallpaper with fitted cupboards!

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The lovely exposed piping and broken shower (which actually has good pressure and would be ok if not broken!!)

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The sink and shelf…

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And the boxed in toilet and bath again.

Project management of getting these things done is tiring.  Plus with not realising I had to really source all the things we needed has been a bit of a headache!!

I’ve had to spend more money than I thought on getting the shower, paint, door handles, thermostatic thingys which are angled and straight, taps, and all these little things I didn’t think about before.  I spent well over half a day researching online, Ebay, Amazon, and big store sales and managed to save quite a lot of money.  Steve just looks fed up with the costs rising.   I had told him that this sort of thing happens and he needed to prepare a ‘buffer’ zone with money.   I just don’t get how he thinks he can pay the bare minimum for everything.   He’s really trying to undercut it all.  As long as we have the £2500 for the labour we should be ok now I hope.   He’s put £400 in our savings, I’ve saved £1000 and he has £1100 sitting in his desk somewhere.   See what I mean, the bare minimum of £2500 dotted around the area in various accounts.   One big lump sum in one place would be far easier to manage.  There may be more surprises as like I’ve tried to explain to him, they don’t know what state things will be in once they start removing tiles and getting old baths out.   It could be awful!!  Or it could be fine and we have no hidden costs.

So now I’ve bought a shower (a big static rain head one with a separate hand held bit too), sink taps, bath taps, plugs for both, a heated towel rail, the white p shaped shower bath, toilet and sink, a mirror which tilts up for 6ft Steve and down for 5ft me, a glass shelf, a hook for our robes, a cup for toothbrushes, a new chrome bin, a chrome light pull, a pot of paint, a bathroom privacy lock for a new door, 5 boxes of white tiles and some navy/black mosaic tiles and all I’ve forgotten is the flooring which I will have to just go out and find some of tomorrow as the men want everything on site by tomorrow to just get on with it.

They’ve promised to leave us with a toilet overnight each night, but in the day I will have to waddle to my Mums if I need the loo!  So I will be hanging out there a lot this week, and have to leave Izzy there so she doesn’t escape.  Plus I’ll be out at the hospital for the afternoon with my appointments.  I wonder whether that’s anything to do with my current insomnia as well?

It’s all a bit stressy with getting bathroom done and waiting for a baby I think.  Not to mention that Steve has relapsed into helpless pathetic hopelessness again.  I know it sounds very unsympathetic but I’m beginning to resent his flapping hands, his over exaggerated shivering and general moaning of being cold all the time.  If I make a grimace because I’ve been kicked in the ribs, he makes more of an ‘ooohhh’ noise because he’s so ill.  It’s like he’s trying to make suffering into a competition.   He moans that he’s ill if I need some help around the house, but is happy to go out of an evening because ‘that will help him recover’.   I’ve felt so unsupported throughout this whole pregnancy by him it’s untrue.  I know he’s been busy with work a lot before Christmas, but I’ve felt so alone throughout it.  He’s taken no interest really whatsoever.  This past two weeks  I’ve tried to help him, and encourage him to have early nights and rest up, and get better.   But until he starts actually acting on advice, rather than going out of an evening, getting himself more tired, not even wearing a coat in the cold rain I don’t know what he thinks will happen.  He just doesn’t care enough to look after himself properly which I see as immature and selfish.   He has to start putting family first, and thinking about getting himself better as I’m going to be relying on him very soon, I should be able to rely on him now but can’t as he’s just acting pathetically at the moment.   I know it’s different for men during pregnancy from women.  Its not real for them until the baby is here but so many men seem to be cherishing their partners and I just would have loved to have known what that felt like!!  Sad I know, but there you go.

Anyway, these are a few of the musings taking over my brain and keeping me from sleep.  I may try and doze on the sofa, or attempt to go back to bed now.  I’m tired in body but not in mind.  But must rest as best I can.   Goodnight again.

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