It’s been a very grey start to the year! It’s rained and rained all day long. It’s been miserable and the one tiny bit the rain ceased Joel Izzy and I went for a little walk around the estate to just say we’d managed to get outside!
Steve has been hopeless and helpless today. He came down with a lurgy on Christmas Day but forgetting he’s no longer 18 he didn’t do what a sensible person would do which is get some early nights, take some paracetamol and up the vitamins, he just ate rubbish, stayed up playing computer games till 2am most nights and broke himself. He can’t remember the last time he ate fruit. He’s not been himself all week really.
We had a terrible scene on Saturday after I bought the bathroom tiles. I was so upset with him. All his family were sitting down to dinner, and I was so pleased with myself for spending less than his budget, having chosen what I thought he’d really like and he just began to shout at me. It seemed that we’d had crossed wired as he actually wanted me to spend £45 rather than £120 due to me having exchanged some tesco vouchers which he was counting whereas I wasn’t.
£70 is not a great deal to quibble over, but he just lost it and totally embarrassed me. We didn’t talk again until church the next morning as we just had nothing nice to say to each other. He was cross, (unreasonably so in my opinion) and I was hurting. He hadn’t actually looked properly at measuring how many tiles we needed, had nothing to base a quote on and is trying to cut corners as much as possible and leave me to sort everything out under budget which is pretty impossible.
Anyway, we’ve moved on. He apologised and its in the past although I still feel a bit stressed that he thinks shouting at me like that and making a scene is quite normal and ok!! His parents argue a lot in front of family so maybe that’s where it comes from but mine don’t, and I really do not feel that it’s ok for him to talk to me like that.
I’m not sure what my point was with that little addendum, but he’s been that wretched today I do wonder whether his not being well had something to do with his outburst. He just doesn’t seem to know how to take care of himself. I had to make him stay in bed where he’s slept most of the day, peel him oranges, take him drinks and he just keeps trying to do stuff and then failing miserably. It’s a little bit pathetic, but I need him healthy in case I need him to look after me, so I’m trying to get him back to normal.
I managed to get Joel back into some semblance of routine today. I didn’t let him nap so he was very tired, and by 5.30 I put him in the bath after some homemade vegetable soup and bread for dinner. He was in pyjamas by 6pm and I read him two stories and he was settled and asleep before 7pm!!
Then Steve emerged to try and come downstairs to watch a film. He’s just not well enough to be up and can’t cope with being ill. I sent him back to bed and I imagine he’ll be out of it for the night and tomorrow as well. At least Joel can go back to nursery tomorrow so I’ll get a day of peace! Not that it’s not been a lovely Christmas having him around every day, but I’m at the point in pregnancy where I need to tidy and prepare myself which takes a lot of rest as well and I don’t get that with him! I have to sit on the floor and play trains and planes and nee-naws!!
So 2014, I’m looking forward to better times ahead!!!