I don’t know what men think sometimes at all. Or in fact, ever! And they think we women are hard to work out.
Take this morning for example.
I woke at 4.30am with painful hips, ribs and pelvis. I lay in bed until I just had to get up to ease the weight on my sides and went downstairs. I was hungry so had some cereal and a cup of tea then worried that I hadn’t felt much baby movement over the past day. I watched a few episodes of ‘The Good Wife’ to distract myself and try to monitor movement before feeling so tired again by 8am when I heard Joel up and about. He’d been into Steve in bed who hadn’t woken up. I got Steve up to sort Joel out and gave him clothes to dress Joel in, told him to sort breakfast and went back to bed. I slept well and woke at 9.40.
Then I found Steve had done nothing all morning. He’d laid on the sofa to doze some more, hadn’t dressed Joel, hadn’t tidied, hadn’t washed up or walked the dog (all things I would have normally done on getting up under regular circumstances). He was due to manage the sound desk at church and had to be there for 10am but needed a shower. By 9.40 he was in the shower and at 10.10am he left the house to go and set up the sound equipment for a service which begins at 10.30am and is meant to be having sound checks by 10.10!!!
His parting comment was ‘I refuse to rush on a Sunday’. Well, had he actually got himself sorted when he first got up, there would be no rushing and as a result he was very rushed but just didn’t care. I don’t get how he can’t see things that need doing. I would love, just once to come downstairs after having had a lie in (which doesn’t happen all that often, but at the moment my sleep is so bad I’m being a lot more forceful about it!!) and find he’s sorted all the chores which are now waiting and looking at me 😦
The other issue is the baby movement. I had another cup of tea and the heat of it seems to have caused some wiggling. I noticed in the bath last night that my tummy was lurching to the right rather than the left and I was getting little brushy strokes on the left side so I wonder whether baby has moved down and twisted sides. That would explain why things feel a bit different today. As long as he’s not gone breech or turned back up i guess its all ok. I will keep checking today though and call the delivery suite if I’m worried by lunchtime. Right now I’m trying to rest and relax for a quiet morning whilst Steve has Joel at church. No doubt he’ll be using me as an excuse as to why he’s late and add extra drama 😦
My other gripe about Steve stems from the argument over tiles we had at Christmas where he berated me over buying bathroom tiles. I had the final bathroom invoice from the builders the day after I’d enjoyed my first bubble bath in our lovely bathroom and I was so relaxed and happy for one evening. Plus my best friend from school who has been trying to get pregnant for over two years and has just had her first bout of ivf rang to tell me she was 13 weeks pregnant and it had worked first go which has a 33% chance of success!!! I was over the moon for them!
Anyway, the bill came in and they’d added an extra £1400 to it!!!! I opened the email and instantly felt sick. Getting money out of Steve for house things is difficult enough and I just thought Steve would flip out and have a go at me about it. He had a busy work day on Friday so I didn’t tell him straight away as I thought he’d be better off focusing on his new client and filming his awards ceremony that evening. He had a good day and I had a privately stressy one wondering how we’d get the money, how they could add extra on like that without discussing it first, whether it was my fault, and pretty much feeling wretched all day. Steve had really seemed to like these builders and had asked them for quotes on the garden jobs and widening our drive and rebuilding the wall and I saw these things disappearing away, never to be done as Steve seems to have to know who is doing the jobs and develop a sense of trust with them before being happy about paying them!!!
Anyway, Steve got back about midnight and I’d tried to sleep but just couldn’t switch off so sat up and waited for him to get in. I had looked online and the law was totally on our side about it as they’d given us a written quote of £2498 for the job. They’d even asked for an advance midway through so we’d paid them £1100 to help them out with their cash flow and I had the remaining £1400 ready to pay them on completion. And at no point had they discussed adding that much to our bill, they hadn’t mentioned extra costs at all and I’d assumed because it was all specified individually in our quote it was covered under that.
I was terrified Steve would get crazy cross again and we’d fall out and it would be as bad as the tile argument at Christmas. But for some reason I still can’t really fathom he was fine about it. He said he’d call them up on Monday and discuss it with them. He didn’t seem to mind whereas I was really cross with them and felt taken advantage of. I guess he just put his business head on and negotiating is something he’s good at. He told me off for stressing and asked why I was so upset over it. How he can be ok over £1400 and flip out over £70 (when he doesn’t even know how much tiles cost and hadn’t measured the space requiring tiling) I don’t know. (He still thinks he’s right over that argument whereas I know he’s totally wrong, but we’ve moved on!).
So I get to leave it to him to sort out. I’m not so silly as to think there wouldn’t be hidden charges. The builder fitted the door for us, and had to buy little bits here and there, so we were expected a couple of hundred more at least to the original quote. That’s normal and to be expected, but £1400 is a lot of money we don’t have to hand and was a nasty surprise.
So that is where things are at. I’m feeling very ‘argh’ about it all. Baby worries, getting fed up being so heavy, not sleeping, being tired and grumpy and tearful all the time isn’t good. Builders invoices. House needs tidying and I have no energy or inclination to do anything about it. I feel like being a hermit and don’t want to go out or see anyone. As I missed church last week Mum got inundated with questions as to how I was, and I just don’t want to have to keep repeating myself that I’m weary and achey. So it’s just easier to stay in. Then I ache if I stand and ache if I sit, ache if I lie down.
The only positive is that during this typing baby is wiggling away again which is reassuring. But right in my ribs again which is uncomfortable.
9 days until my due date. Please make a move soon baby. Please please please. I want to feel back to myself again!!