Today began as a stressy day. The wretched dog escaped again so I ended up walking around the block shouting ‘Izzy, Izzy’ at 8am this morning thinking I shouldn’t be stressing about her and wanting to get in a bath instead.
But I found her trapped in a garden a street away. Her forlorn face was peering out at me from behind a trellis and I couldn’t see how to get her out without disturbing the people who’s house it was. I tried the doorbell but there was no answer, and so I then went to the neighbours garden, quietly went up the side path through a little gate and managed to create a hole in the side hedge and hold down some chicken wire so she could lope through, then I thoroughly castigated her, put the lead on her and met my Mum who was coming out to help me look, so she took her back to theirs so I could relax a bit!
Anyway, at 9.30 we dropped Joel at my parents as well and went to the hospital. In all the chaos I’d forgotten to drink any water so I bought a bottle and began chugging it in the vain hope it would filter through in time. It didn’t! We went for the scan, the nurse saw a heartbeat (hurrary!) and estimated that we were just over 6 weeks (we’d thought 6-7) but she couldn’t get a good look as my bladder was too small. So I was sent away for 20 minutes to drink more and finished the water and got a fried breakfast whist we were at it. Then on going back my bladder was too full and obstructing things, so I had to do a half wee which was good as I thought I was going to wet myself things had got very uncomfortable to say the least.
Still, the image wasn’t great. It was very tucked up to one side and not all that visible but I only needed to know that something was there and ok for now.
The staff were very kind and have booked me in for another scan in three weeks. I’ll worry about that one as well as the last baby died at 8+6, and this scan will be 9 weeks. But if things are ok, there’s only another 3 weeks until the 12 week scan and then maybe I’ll let myself think about things and feel excited. It’s not sunk in at all yet and I’m still fearing the worst.
One day at a time though. That’s all I can do.