I woke early this morning. So did Joel, so we came downstairs for an early breakfast. No point staying in bed worrying.
I’m not allowed to eat past 7am or drink water past 10.30am so I had a quick bowl of cereal and cup of tea. Joel had a piece of toast with me. And we’re playing together before he goes to his grandparents for the day.
I’m starting to feel more achey today. I’m getting stronger crampy pains and I’m bleeding a little more heavily now. And I hate being hungry so I’ll be grumpy by lunchtime without anything to eat.
I know, that’s the least of my worries isn’t it.
I just want to today to be over and done with. It’s going to be horrid, and something I doubt Steve will ever understand. It’s not just him, I think it’s a guy thing. This baby wasn’t a reality to him in the same way it was to me. And although he’s trying to be sensitive he seems to be saying the wrong things. I went online and ordered a little star charm for my charm bracelet. It’s just a little thing that will be meaningful for me, but I want this one to count, and be counted.
And in all honesty, I want to be able to try again as soon as possible. We’ll follow the Dr’s advice of course and wait for periods to come back, but I am feeling positive that it will happen again and I hope it’s sooner rather than later. I’ve read that conceiving within 6 months of a miscarriage means that baby is less likely to miscarriage than if you waited a year to try.
And I’ll try taking more supplements as well.
So I have a plan.
Obviously, this was a plan too which hasn’t worked out. But that’s not to say a new plan won’t, and I’m the sort of girl who needs a plan.
So lets get today out of the way and follow Scarlett O’Haras phrase – “after all, tomorrow is another day”.
Sorry, I know that’s cheesy, it just seemed appropriate to look forward.
See you on the other side…..