Numb….

I had a lovely day yesterday.  I went to Lichfield for the choir’s performance of Verdi’s Requiem.  We rehearsed all afternoon, then had a break till the performance at 7.30.  Steve, my Dad and a friend from church came along to watch.  And it went well.  It’s lovely music, and the cathedral is a wonderful atmospheric environment to sing in.

Then today I felt tired.  I wondered whether I’d overdone it with standing for long periods of time during the day.  I didn’t go to church, and instead, Joel and I took Izzy for a walk and went to my parents in time for lunch.

I’ve been feeling achey the past couple of days but I put it down to growing pains.  Then today I felt an aching pressure down below as well.  Something made me go to toilet after lunch as I just had a hunch, and there it was, the dreadful red wipe.  Bright red, fresh blood.   There were a couple of pea sized clots in the toilet bowl, and on wiping again there was more blood.  Steve and I went straight over to A&E as I was so worried.  I hadn’t expected it now, being nearly 11 weeks.  I’d got past 8 and 9 and had just started to relax a bit more.

On getting there, we registered at the reception and almost immediately were seen by a triage nurse.  I was close to tears and the staff were all lovely.  I then went round to a private room where I sat on a bed and put a robe on.  A Dr came to take my blood and fit a canula.  He struggled with my inner elbows and ended up on my left wrist.  Gah.   A nurse came and took my blood pressure was low so I was hooked up to an IV drip, then a Dr came to do internals.  He said my cervix was closed but the blood was coming from there.  He took some swabs, and after a urine sample (still pregnant) I was cleared to go home.

Pretty much they said I was still pregnant, but I’m under threat of miscarriage.  I have a scan on Tuesday at 9am to see whats going on.  They couldn’t fit me in on Monday (tomorrow!)  I would have preferred to know today of course but I shall just have to give it a couple of days.  I know some folk do get bleeds during pregnancy.  I’m still have regular spotting now.  It started at 2.30 and it’s now 6.30 so that’s 4 hours.  It does come and go.

I just feel so negative.  As though thinking the worst will prepare me and if it’s good news then so much the better.  I’ve got cotton wool buds with dried blood all over me and feel numb.  I wasn’t expecting this.

I think I need as many prayers as possible.

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2 thoughts on “Numb….

  1. Oh Kate, what an awful experience. Will definitely keep you in our prayers, especially for the promise of peace that passes all understanding to be active for you all over the next couple of days. As you say, some people do get bleeds. My friend had the same, quite heavily but everything turned out to be ok so keeping our fingers prayerfully crossed that it’ll be the same for you x

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