Last night I was looking through blogs I follow on the google reader, and saw that two of them (both Mums with a toddler the same age as Joel now) had just announced a second pregnancy.
It seems that everyone I know, both online and offline are having second babies right now!!! Except me.
I keep thinking I’ve done things wrong. I began trying to be relaxed about it and didn’t count days. Then when I began counting days I wasn’t using ovulation predictor kits. Then when I began using OPK’s I realised I seemed to ovulate a lot later in my cycle than the typical 14 days so had likely missed the tiny little conception window each month.
Had I been less relaxed I could have identified this earlier and been pregnant by now, but I didn’t want to be a stress head about it.
Had I gone back onto the pill for 6 months, and then come off it that could have changed things as I think thats how I caught with Joel so early.
I don’t want to be all ‘what-iffy- about things. I know things will happen eventually and it’s so hard waiting and keeping motivated to keep trying.
I think it’s the lack of control we have that is so bothersome. We can normally control everything in our lives, but this, is something else. It’s totally out of our hands. Even if the planets all align and we get the right day, hour, minute, there’s still a massively long journey for that little sperm to make and out of 3 million about 12 actually get there if at all! Not to mention all the effort in the actual babymaking. It’s difficult when you’re tired and not feeling well.
And then there’s the news flash that not every woman ovulates every month. I’m on cycle day 20 now, but according to my OPK’s, I’ve not ovulated. And they don’t seem to be going in my favour, as its normally happened by now. I’m pretty sure it happened last month. Maybe this is a non month. Which puts a lot of pressure on next month to aim for a baby by Christmas 2013.
The odds make you wonder how anyone gets pregnant at all.
Which brings me back to the original point of it is happening, the proof is out there, but just not to me 😦
p.s. I am obviously very pleased for those who are expecting again. Please don’t misunderstand my grumble as ill thoughts or negativity. It really isn’t. I just want to be pleased for me at the same time!